Before my husband and I got married, we both sat down and agreed we wanted children. It was important to both of us we were on the same page. We discussed having children a ton some day and all of our conversations were positive. We talked about our future names, parenting styles, etc. a few years after we got married my husband started talking about how he doesn’t want kids.
As the years have gone one he is now totally against it. He does not want them at all. We have been married 8 years and are both almost 30. I have always dreamed about being a mother. When I was younger, I did not care about what career I would have or anything like that. The only thing I knew for certain was that I wanted to be a mom.
My husband came to me the other day and stated that he wanted a vasectomy and that we would be discussing it a little further this weekend. I don’t know how to respond or how to tell him that I still want kids without him feeling pressured. I do not ever want to pressure him into doing something he does not want to do. I don’t know how to express that I’m not comfortable with him getting a vasectomy. He periodically still talks about having children like he may still be open to the idea and I do not want him to regret his decision in the future. I am also worried that when I tell him I still want to have kids he will take it as a sign we should not be together because we want different things. I love my husband more than anything in the world and I don’t want to separate. Life happens and things change including our minds and I get it I just don’t understand how his thoughts on having children changed so drastically.
I am at a loss on how to proceed both with the conversation and the relationship. Do I stay with the love of my life and give up on my dream? Do I wait to see if he changes in mind in a few years? Do we separate in hopes that possibly someday I may become a mother? I’m at a loss. I need advice. I do not know how to have this conversation and I do not know what to do.
Tl;dr! Long story short my husband wanted kids when we got married and is now wanting a vasectomy. I still want kids. Need advice as we will be having a conversation about it.