Original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1cd1e15/my\_24f\_boyfriend\_26m\_of\_7\_years\_completely/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1cd1e15/my_24f_boyfriend_26m_of_7_years_completely/)
Short summary: My boyfriend of nearly 7 years left me, moved hundreds of miles away and refused to talk to me. Even his parents told me that he doesn’t want to talk to me and that they can’t force him to. A mutual friend (more his friend) told me the same and then blocked me as well.
I was left confused, alone and sad.
Now, over 4 weeks later, he contacted me again and we agreed to talk face to face at our?/my place.
I’ll have to disappoint everyone from the start: No movie worthy Yakuza/Mafia story.
What he told me happened was that he simply panicked and ran away. Apparently I was asking too many questions about the future: if he ever wanted to get married, what he thought about children etc. I also pushed him a lot to finally finish his degree and get a job. (his main source of income are still his parents) He said he just couldn’t handle it and saw his life as being over and needed to get away from it all.
Then he started blaming his friend who convinced him that “he was wasting his twenties on just one girl”. That same friend apparently also got him a job which is why he moved away hundreds of miles.
That job didn’t work out and he got fired after a few weeks. I guess that’s why he is back now.
I asked him why he didn’t at least talk to me and how hurt and worried I was. He said that he “didn’t want to make me cry” and that “he didn’t really want to break up”. He wanted to prove that he could succeed at that job and then come back to me.
Overall a lot was said, we talked for over two hours but that’s the gist of it. He must have apologized like a hundred times, telling me how stupid he was to let his friend influence him.
One kindergarten like logic stuck with me. He said: “We never broke up. I never said that I wanted to break up. We just took a break!”
In my mind that sounded like: “Ha, you didn’t say UNO, we’re still together!” ……….
He basically promised me heaven on earth if we got back together. Breakfast in bed every morning, he’d do all the chores, what have you. He also swore that there was nobody else, that he slept with nobody else.
In the end he asked if he could stay because he hasn’t been paid from that job and used all his money and has nowhere else to go. His parents live too far away and he is on bad terms with that friend who got him the job.
I felt a bit bad but I told him no. That I needed to process and think about everything.
I did however agree to store some of his boxes to free up his car.
So, that’s where I’m at now. Sitting alone in my apartment with his boxes. One of them smells really bad, like moldy clothes. Maybe I’ll wash those tomorrow for him at least.
Now I need to think about what to do with all of this, what to do with myself. Part of me still loves him. We had so many great moments together before that, he helped me through a lot. He helped me get away from my abusive mother and stepfather. He is the man I wanted to marry, maybe have children with. 🙁
This is only my side of the story, too. I don’t know everything he has to go through mentally. I can understand panicking. I don’t know.
I want to thank everyone who took their time to read all of this. It felt good to write it all down. I went no contact with my mother and stepfather and don’t have a lot of friends because I’m a bit shy and not that outgoing. I don’t have a lot of people to talk to about this. Sorry if it’s too long.
Thank you.