I guess it can make casual hookups difficult/undesirable, because of the added intimacy. But I guess at this age I have no motivation to act or try to imitate porn, or imitate ideas of what I think women want, from porn or cultural tropes.
I guess it just seems like there’s this macho expectation, more internalized in men, some women seem to expect it too, that men should be jackhammers in bed.
I’m sure some guys fuck like animals who are also well oiled machines, and some women like this. It’s also possible the stereotypes are right and most women like this.
It’s not me, it’s never been me, I’m tired of trying like it’s some kind of competition. I just want to connect with someone.
But I guess part of me is always comparing myself to porn and ideas about what other people do.
I’m more than fine with toys, tongue, fingers, girls tend to really like when I give head. I want the girl to get off.
But I also just don’t think it needs to be about orgasm all the time. It can feel played out. Sometimes it’s intimate just to connect with someone, with no goals.
Do other people feel similarly?
Are there women that like or prefer this?
Tldr: tired of feeling like sex is a competition. Wondering if others can relate.
(Straight male here, all perspectives, insights are welcome)