I’ll try to keep this short.
We dated for a year, went through thick and thin. He helped me through my depression, I helped him through his problems, we were the perfect duo and we knew and loved everything about each other. Thought I was the luckiest woman on earth and he’s my soulmate. Even introduced him to my strict af parents. Things got a little rocky around the one year mark and we ended due to him getting accepted into a college abroad and him being too scared to do long distance.
This absolutely broke me; I spiraled back into my depression, self harm, couldn’t stomach food or sleep, a pretty shit cycle. After 6 whole months of rock bottom I picked myself up. Worked out, did everything I could, hung out with friends, started to rebuild my life. I finally started to move on. Until he came back. He messaged me hoping to make up- we went out a few times as friends, which quickly turned into dates. He gave me the whole spiel about how much he loves me, realized he needs me, doesn’t want to see me with anybody else, and quickly my feelings came back and we love each other more than anything now.
Until his homeboy texted me 2 hours ago. told me he had been cheating on me with a shit ton of girls all throughout our year long relationship. 38 to be exact. pulled out the receipts and everything. I was in shock. He hid it so well; fucked a girl one night then called me telling me how much he loves me. cheated on our anniversary, my birthday, and missed my dads funeral all for different girls he had no connection with.
I spiraled for a little, vomited, had a panic attack, but no way in hell im destroying myself again over him. Im shaking as i type this but I want to fucking break him and make it as painful as possible- not in a key his car and make him pissed at me and deem me the crazy ex kind of way, a ‘shit i just fucked up with the loml and im never getting her back’ kind of way. I want him to feel all the pain he made me feel ten fold. Should I lead him on, make him think im the perfect partner and ghost him out of nowhere? should i print out the receipts and leave them on his doorstep with all his stuff? how do i absolutely psychologically break this fucking boy? im not good at this so im hoping yall can help me. please and thank you.