Update: thanks all for the validation that what I am doing is plenty more than alot of people are getting. I did make it seem like all of it was for his pleasure- I have a high sex drive as well. But being a mom of 3 is taxing and takes its toll. I read through alot of your comments a few times and my post, and the private messages. I think what we are actually missing is our connection. It’s become more about the physical aspect of sex and not the emotional at all. And maybe that’s what he is missing. We don’t have alot of an emotional relationship since baby 3 and moving states, and what not all at the same time. We go go go all day chasing 3 kids and work. So every chance we get we are under the covers going at it for the sake of going at it. So I’m going to close my legs, and knock our activities back a few steps until he realizes how good he’s got it, and we have a chance to reconnect.
My husband and I have sex 3-4 times a week if not more. We have been married for 13 years with 3 kids. He has always been really weird about sex and being “rejected”
Since my last baby 18 mo ago, things have been off even more than before. My IUD this go round hasn’t stopped my periods and they are like clockwork. And I can tell when it’s almost here (giant zit, body acne, migraines, etc) and an even more ramped up libido. I initiate, he initiates and it’s healthy for the most part. But now he sulks when I’m on my period among other times. I give him oral (not my favorite but I compromise to help him be comfortable)I try to not be naked in front of him, all the things to help make it through the week.
He also now wants to do things different. So I research, try new positions and it’s not enough. He says I need to give him more “attention” when we are having sex. I ask him what that means and he doesn’t have an answer and says it was stupid of him to ask. I do give him attention during sex? We 69, I go down on him without expecting it in return (and 80% of the time I don’t even get sex out of it because he wants to finish that way), I recently have used a vibrator on him, I talk dirty, I do positions I don’t particularly feel much for me… and I always ask what he wants. If I can I reach down and play with him as he’s fucking me. If I give him too much attention then I lose interest and start to dry up. And he is constantly wanting me to squirt, and putting me in positions so I can. He wants to be surprised by sex but understands it’s next to impossible with my 18 mo . And when she’s asleep we are usually asleep or gettin busy. On the rare occasion I ignore him or not in the mood I get in trouble and he sulks. And it’s usually when I don’t feel good or I’ve just had a super long day.
He wants to do more anal stuff, so I ordered things to make it more comfortable for me. I don’t mind if it’s not my every week night activity. He was disappointed when it came and there was nothing for him. But it was all for him? I asked him before I bought it if there was anything he wanted and he told me no. And he acted excited for me to order it. He also told me he didn’t want to use any of it until he had a few beers so he doesn’t just quickly finish. Then he sulked all night and even slept on the couch because we didn’t have sex and use it.
I’m at a loss as to what he wants. I’m afraid he’s going to want more and more and I’m not sure what else there is to do after this? We do so much already (including fisting). I’m 100% not into brining a 3rd party into this