So I (24F) have a relationship with my current boyfriend (23M) for a little over 2 years now. Over the past year there were some developments that gave me doubts about breaking up. In november last year the boyfriend of my mother in law (also a 2 year relationship) toucht me in an inappropriate way. I was doing my make up and already standing in the very end of the room. He wanted to pick something up by the window next beside me. When he approached me he placed his hand at my waist and then went further with that hand to my butt. It wasn’t just a quik touch that can be a mistake, it was really inappropriate. Out of fear I obviously didn’t say anything and I immediately went to my boyfriend. He was slightly mad and wanted to confront his mom’s boyfriend but I asked him to wait because his mom was really stressed about a big operation she had planned. Between christmas and New year I asked my boyfriend to confront his mom and her boyfriend (I wasn’t there). When the boyfriend of my mother in law was confronted, he began to cry and say it was nothing and he didn’t mean anything by it. (You can guess what my opinion is about his reaction). What struck my attention was also that he remembered the touch. If it was truly just a simple touch like a patt on the back he would absolutely not have remembered that weeks! later. To make matters worse my boyfriend believed him and is convinced his mom’s boyfriend didn’t mean any harm. Even after I cried my eyes out and said I was afraid of the man and I had a really bad feeling about the inappropriate touching.(bare in mind that I still have to see my mother in laws boyfriend EVERY (national) holiday). I said to my boyfriend that if we would buy a house together that I didn’t would want that men in my house and that if we would get kids together I did not want that that men would held my baby let alone change its diaper or put it in bath. When I said that my boyfriend got mad at me and said I wasn’t reasonable. He was also afraid he would lose his relationship with his mother if he made such restrictions as I asked. So he didn’t support me nor believed me.
Beside everything above: His mom makes sometimes really mean comments to me and he never stands up for me! He always keeps quiet and doesn’t defend me…He also cancels frequently plans we made to do something with friends. He also makes decissions that that benefit him even if it means something disadvantage for me. Also when we were on vacation in Turkey there were some men constantly flirting with me and coming to me for attention even when my boyfriend was right beside me. My boyfriend didn’t even care, he said absolutely nothing and let it just happen. And before we went on this vacation he jokingly said to one of his friends (when I was right there) that I could get a boob job while we were in Turkey (I have a A cup..).
My boyfriend is a good guy and he is kind to me but he doesn’t chose my side in what seems to me like a very logical decision. I have a strong feeling he will always pick his mother over me. And he just does and say these stupid things that absolutely furiate me.
I am really conflicted if I should break up with him, I am constantly thinking about it. I just don’t want to buy a house and build a live together if I can’t trust him for 100%.
I really need some advice from people who don’t know me or my boyfriend, people who are not biased.
So let me know what you think…
TL;DR my boyfriend didn’t chose my side when his mom’s boyfriend toucht me inappropriate.