I feel like I’m in a very tricky situation… a little context, me and this guy clicked and became good friends in college about a year back. I can honestly say he’s a great, genuine person, and has been one of the purest friendships I’ve ever had. The problem is that he’s always on GO mode and has bad habits that don’t align with me anymore. What does this mean? Well he’s always looking for the next party or throwing one himself, always chasing girls, regularly does drugs, regularly drinks, always going to a festival, or on a road-trip, etc. This was all exciting and worked for me when it worked…
BUT
Upon some personal changes and inner growth, it doesn’t work anymore. Taking a step back and self reflecting on many parts in my life in general, I realize that these habits don’t fit into who I am and who I want to be. So I’m pulling back from a lot. Part of that pulling back is switching schools… not because of him, but to signify new change, a new beginning. So after summer break I’m going to a completely new campus all the way across the city. This comes up in conversation and my friend says “Bro, I’m gonna switch with you! I’m sick of this \[current\] school too! Let’s do it.” …I feel so terrible guys. I don’t want him to come with me, I actually want to separate from him. How do I even begin to go about this? He’d be crushed. He’s been nothing but a fantastic friend to me, seriously. Like a wipe your tears away friend. A \*pull up whenever, for whatever\* type of friend. But I’ve grown. I can’t stop him from attending I guess but us hanging out won’t be the same and even that will be hard. I just know he’ll expect to come over after class, or go kick it somewhere, or whatever else. I feel a lot of anxiety over this.
\*\*\*P.S. – Some of you may be thinking “well just don’t take part” but it’s trickier than that. When he’s hitting the vape, I want to hit the vape. When he’s smoking weed, it’s easy to smoke weed. When he’s drinking, it’s easy to drink. When he’s in my face telling me about tickets he got to a festival and begging me to go, it’s hard to say no. Especially because of the tug he has on my heart I love this guy and it’s incredibly hard to say no and incredibly easy to get wrapped up into poor habits… so my best bet is distance.