I’m going to keep this as brief as possible. I’m a 22F and have only had 3 serious relationship my whole life. The longest one was 4 months almost 5. I’m not going to get into that but I have been cheated on in a long distance relationship. Never wanna do that again. Anyways I’ve been on and off dating apps for years and run across so many f boys. When I do fall for a guy he doesn’t want anything serious with me then ends up with a gf not much later. Like what??? I haven’t slept with someone in 7 months to avoid this despite seeing many men and going on dates here and there. What else can I do to be more GF material? And don’t say no misogynistic things like oh dress conservative etc because I want a man to accept me as I am. I just feel like guys don’t take me seriously even the somewhat older ones and it drives me nuts. Like what am I supposed to do?? Many just wanna lay me down. I am an attractive fit female but I’m also very caring, funny, and spontaneous. I just feel like no one sees these qualities men wise and they only see me for my looks. It messes with my already damaged mental health tbh. Anyways tips would be appreciated and lmk if you have any questions!!!
6 comments
Well, I’m going to say the obvious: stop looking for only the physically attractive dickhead guys and look around for the guys whove had to actually develop their personality rather than relying on pure looks and always going for sex because they can 9/10 times…
Just a word of advice without knowing you or the men you choose.
Guys who don’t want only sex do exist. You just gotta make the effort to talk to them. Most of us are shy and fragile, and would appreciate a girl talking to us first for a change.
Dating apps are full of f boys, so expect that. Not everyone just wants sex though
I don’t know who these guys are that you pick – but if you’re doing online dating, it would be an idea to scrutinise dating profiles more thoroughly if you’re not doing that already (and look for signs that they are looking for serious relationships).
Otherwise, may I suggest that you try being up front on the first or second date? I know it’s not hot, but saying “I know it’s awkward but let’s be serious for a moment” and discussing what both of you are looking for at the moment (ideally a long term relationship?) openly without judgment can be helpful because you can weed out the ones who aren’t interested in things you don’t want (because they will say so) and the ones who scare easily (because they will probably not go out with you again). (To be clear: “I don’t know” or “I want to see where things go” are probably not what you’re looking for.) As long as you don’t say that you want to be bf/gf straightaway (but phrase it as you are looking for someone who *could* be your next boyfriend), this shouldn’t scare off any real candidates. That should save some time.
Why would a guy take you seriously if you don’t take him seriously because they don’t take themselves seriously? Lol, that’s how effed up the game is. It’s rare to find a real dude.
Ummmm so first off I would say go to a psychologist, second off if you say nobodyvtakes you seriously well that has to mean something don’t you think and lastly I am guessing that if you said you are an attractive fit woman I guess you’ve played a lot with your looks instead of your actually trying to show something more than looks, also continuously looking for someone won’t fix the problem, my opinionbis work on yourself and get to know yourself more instead of trying to find someone to make you feel good about yourself and make you think you are more than just a pretty face and body, you have to believe that for yourself and the others will start to take you seriously
I think you need to reframe your thinking. You’re worthy of love as an individual, and you don’t need to change to attract a partner. Being your genuine, best self will filter out people that aren’t a good match.