I’ve been seeing this man for some time but our relationship has always been rocky. he’s a pretty dry person and he had commitment issues but I finally got him to commit over time. I initially fell for him because he was such a good talker, confident, he was successful, and most importantly he was so consistent in his communication.
I on the other hand is insecure and needy. I developed intense jealousy of his dog and overall the way he talks to me (he speaks in a robotic but he swears its just how he talks). the jealousy started because he talks in a sweet baby voice when he speaks to his dog. He has so much love for his dog of 14 years that I felt like I was beneath a dog in terms of priorities. This led us to many fights because it would trigger my insecurities so hard when I would see him pat his dog and smile at the dog.
He decided to break up with me about 5 weeks ago, but strange enough he kept coming to me to some how work things out and compromise.
He specifically said that he’s only willing to stay together if we can compromise on each others needs. I had blocked him on my phone and every social media possible so his way of only communication was to stop by my house which was an hour away, and he came every sunday to eat and talk.
I had to leave the country for a 2 months for visa reasons and that’s when the suspicions began. He was contacting me less than normal. We were sending each other emails (i unblocked him here) and talking about what my needs are and what his needs are and he was trying to gain an understanding of my bad temper and my insecurity triggers. I felt suspicious so I made a few fake IG profiles to stalk his likes.
I found 14 girls on his following. I made more fake profiles to follow each girl and see what photos he was liking. Then I found 1 girl and I found pictures of my boyfriend and her hugging and going out on dates while I was outside of the country. I caught him cheating!
I confronted him and he said he felt terrible for not telling me. He said it’s a low move, but he did not know how to cope being alone without me, and that he was technically single and although it’s a low move, it’s not cheating. He told me he loves me and that he would drop everything in a heart beat if we’re to reconcile our relationship. I asked him if he had slept with her and he admitted he did and that she is his GF now.
I felt absolutely devastated, that he would cheat on me while we are trying to fix what was once broken. He wrote me a huge apology email, saying that he would stop everything if we got back together. He insisted it wasn’t cheating because we were not together, but at the same time he swore to me he would leave her right away if we’re to get back together.
I decided to message the girl he’s currently with, I sent her photos of us together and that he’s been lying to you and the girl literally messaged me back saying “f off”. They are still hanging out all of the time and taking pics and going on dates.
He’s been sending me emails about “let’s talk” on a daily basis for the last few weeks without a skip. I have ghosted him completely in the last 5 days or so and Ive blocked his emails but he keeps making new ones and sending me emails.
I’m not sure what to do because I’m broken that he cheated, and still continues to see the girl until today. He said he is only willing to let go if we got back together.
Can anyone give me some sound advice on what I should do?