When I hear people say just be youself. People often get frustrated because it’s doesn’t give them result they wants however, I feel like this advice is often misplaced.
If you wanted to be like by a lot of people then yes be fake or adjust your self to the social climate and learn the rule for how to be better at social. I’m not really here to help with that.
For me, I choose the other option and less pretty one. I want work on being truly authentic and not have to wear a mask around other. Ofc I want to enjoy people presence but more often than there people that don’t like me or have no interest and vice versa. I don’t care I’m comfortable being me. For me personally I will not comprise myself or behavior unless it’s openly toxic. I shouldn’t have to try to fit it in. People that love me for me are the people I live for. Not for people, that I try to hangout with and they don’t give a second thought after they are back at home.
The advice “Being youself “ doesn’t help because it like well if im being myself why don’t people like me but what often over look is “who are you?”
For me I had accept my whole self and looked my flaws and I had looked deep with in at my insecurities and biggest fear and said that okay. I was toxic and I wanted to run away from pain. I lied to people so I didn’t have suffer. I ddint understand how living with people can be hard and the social rules and ended up losing them because I simply could not understand.
I want to be the best version of my self not because it suppose gain me happiness or friends but simply by virtue of cause I can.
I caution this because you have to asl what id the best version of you is? You might intinitally think it to become successful with a lot of fiends, money, a very active sex life but you can go deeper ask yourself what truly make you happy. What make you, you?
I have my goals and my passion but I understand not everyone has that.
For me im working on my passion to create manga. I want to be a kinder person and help people who struggled like I did. I started working out and hitting them gym because I wanted to the best version. I’m not trying to impress other or look hot. There’s no end goal it just a mentality. Dont go in expecting results that will always cause you to being insecure and doubt because your expectating a reward. The reward is being happier with yourself
I’m being honest, being myself doesn’t exactly help me with social skills. I don’t even go outside and socialize that often. But I learned to acccept myself and the few people that recognize you for you are people that are closest to you. Accepting yourself and living authentically doesn’t mean you’ll be popular far from it but if you can manage that you’ll be more confident. That’s confident can’t be replicated by anything else. I can’t not express enough how much happier I am in once I realized this. Once you learn to accept being alone being conformable being alone then you can try to socialize. I rather be honest to people and I not comprise anything about myself.
I’m not ignore all the advice on how to be social, but for me personally I just don’t want to comprise myself for the sake of others. That’s how I live. Mabye advice isn’t the best for everyone. For me though I want to live authentic because I have no shame in who I am. I choose to believe if I’m authentic with myself I may not have booming social life but those who choose to love me for me while the ones I want in my life.