I’m new to this sub, so I just thought I’d post, for the sake of having a positive one on here for a change.
I absolutely love my wife. I’m a man in my mid-forties, who has been married to my wife for coming up on twenty years. It hasn’t always been sunshine and roses. Quite frankly there have been some real bad storms for both of us. There were literal years where I was in despair about not having a job; struggling with debt and the guilt that I had caused it; having no one I felt like I could talk to about my struggles and feeling lonely in dealing with them. My wife has bipolar depression and has been hospitalized for mania multiple times, including having post-partum psychosis right after our now 9yo was born.
It’s been hard at times. But I love my wife. I can not say loudly enough how much I do. I also love my kiddo and would do anything for her, including stepping up to be a single-dad while my wife is away dealing with mental health struggles.
I will just say these days we are very active in Celebrate Recovery, though neither of us struggles with any sort of substance abuse. Having a support group of guys that I can talk to about stuff I’m dealing with (like when I had to put my golden retriever down) really *really* helps. Also, while my wife likes to talk to me about things she’s thinking about or struggling with, I have found it really helpful to pair emotionally serious conversations with times of physical intimacy. To just lay next to each other and talk while we’re touching and leading up to things, it really helps me refill my emotional tank at the same time that it’s been drawn out of, so to speak.
Guys, I just want to say that you really need to prioritize making sure your spouse is you best friend. Take her on lunch dates now and then. Make her feel special to you. And ladies, I’m just saying speaking as a guy, that physical intimacy is a *need*. Speaking for myself, one per week is not often enough. And being often physically close to him can help him open to being more emotionally close to you.