My 26F birthday was yesterday and my 32M my fiancee took me out to a bar to eat and a couple drinks. My fiancee has been talking about an open relationship if not a hall pass for awhile and I kept telling him no well yesterday we heard about about one of the bartenders getting bent over the pool table by someone and her husband watched. My fiancee had brought it up again telling me we only have one life and it’s short that he doesn’t wanna die regretting never doing it. I was buzzed up and asked him why wasn’t I enough he said I was so I said if I was you wouldn’t want this at all. I balled my eyes out for hours then we went to a different bar for my birthday drink and he said it’s something he really wants I said finr but because its my birthday i want mine today he stayed silent. I dropped him off and messaged an someone I could trust about this sex with no strings thing and told him the situation he was down. We talked in person for a couple hours before it was time to cuddle. All I thought about was my fiancee and just being home with him but reminded myself about why I was doing it. I came home and he didn’t want to even look at me and he got dressed without his ring and left. All I want to do is cry I didn’t want this but thought it was the only way to never hear about it again. Thought it’s what he wanted and all I feel is hurt. Like I broke my own heart. Maybe I am an asshole…maybe I shouldn’t of done it….maybe I made a mistake……but all I know is I’m not handling any of this very well. We have been together almost 4 years did I ruin everything? .