I 33F have been married to my husband 33M for ten years we have two small children together. During this time we have had lots of ups and downs. However, recently I have been evaluating some of the more critical moments in our relationship and I’m just not convinced the love is there. There are key moments in our life when I would expect him to be present and he chose not to be. I will list a couple that are bothering me.
1. I had a miscarriage and had to have the fetus removed which included being put under anesthesia. He chose not to be there for any of the procedure and just pick me up at the hospital at the end and drop me off at home and go back to work. Even though he knew I was terrified.
2. I had a second miscarriage where I passed the fetus at home naturally. I was in immense amounts of pain and really scared. I begged him to come home but he refused. Leaving me to care for our 1 year old.
3. His dad has consistently been rude and misogynistic to me. My husband doesn’t stand up for me and instead makes up excuses for his dad.
4. I got Covid really bad he again refused to care for me and left me to tend to our two young children.
His excuses are that he doesn’t always “ know how to act” in high pressure situations. I just feel so lost. I feel that I have given up so much of myself mentally to make the family he wanted a reality. And whenever I need support I am alone. He has apologized after each of these instances, but they continue to happen. I would love to hear a make perspective on this. Maybe I’m just not understanding his side of things.