Throwaway because my husband follows my Reddit account.
Me(29F) and my husband(32M) have been married for 4 years and together for 7 years. He is my first. I am his third. Once we became intimate we did it on a daily basis. It was perfect. Until i got pregnant. He was understanding. We did it maximum twice a week at first.
During the last trimester however we didn’t do it at all. I was glad he didn’t initiate it.
After i gave birth we were too busy with the baby. We still are. But the first six months we barely slept properly. It was hard time. Now at least she is sleeping at night.
The first time he initiated sex was when our daughter was 7 months old(around 5 months ago). I rejected him. He is respectful about it. I rarely rejected sex before pregnancy. Now… A week later he tried again and I knew he was sexually frustrated at this point. I wasn’t in the mood.
It was a mistake to be on social media – especially here. I was constantly seeing people complaining about their significant other’s low libido. It made me think how selfish I was and I realise that it’s not about me. At least it isn’t only about me. So after reading so many stories on there I decided to have sex with even though I didn’t want to. I acted as if I want to. I was afraid if i keep on rejecting him he will either cheat on me, divorce me or both. I don’t want to lose him. I worked part time(my maternity leave ends next year) and he has a well paid job. I won’t survive if i am on my own.
The first time I didn’t reject him he asked me thousand times if I’m sure I said yes. So now every time he initiates I say yes. But truly my libido is dead. I am not on any medications. I’ve never been on the pill. My husband always used condoms. The only times we weren’t careful was when i was ovulating because we both wanted to have a child.
I love my daughter but i miss the person i was before i got pregnant with her. I miss the times when i actually wanted to have sex.