I (36f) started seeing someone (38m) in January and things have seemingly been going well. We see each other the weekends we don’t have kids and usually 1x in the middle of the week. He’s said he’s not seeing anyone else, as have I. I still just can’t help but feel like he’s kind of ‘meh’ about the budding relationship.
There have been maybe 3x where he’s been sweet and made me feel like he’s excited about us. Other times I’ve said/texted something kind/sweet about us and he sometimes doesn’t even respond. I’ve met his friends, he came out and had a drink with me and all my girlfriends on my birthday, there have definitely been behaviors that make me feel like he’s into it, I just haven’t heard him say it despite my opening the door for that. However, he’s made some borderline-mean ‘jokes’ that make me feel a little uncomfortable. He’s called me annoying (pausing a show to talk/ask a question), reminds me frequently about that one time I snored, and he couldn’t sleep (drank a little too much that night; it’s not a habit), tells me to calm down when I get excited about a story I’m telling him. So, if he’s comfortable enough to make these ‘jokes’ I just don’t understand why he couldn’t be comfortable enough to say, “I really like spending time with you too!”
I don’t want to shut it down too early, but I am definitely the type of person who needs healthy communication and I’m struggling with the ‘does he, doesn’t he’ type of stuff. I think it’s probably pretty normal early into dating, but I’ve only ever been with one other girl since my divorce and he was completely avoidant, so maybe I’m being too quick to pin that on this guy?
Was just hoping to get some thoughts or advice moving forward. Thanks!