I (30M) feel wrong for not having passionate feelings about my girl (24F) of a few months. Am I out of line?
Me and this girl have been casually dating for about 3 months now. We haven’t been exclusive or anything because we both recently got out of long and intense relationships and both agreed that we didn’t want to jump into anything too soon.
When we first started courting, everything seemed great and it was new and exciting and to be honest I kind of just assumed that our feelings for each other would continue to grow. Unfortunately, instead, I’m starting to lose any kind of strong feelings for her and don’t really have the passion for the relationship at all. Im starting to notice her liking me a lot more than I like her. I feel bad about this though because this girl is really great- she’s very sweet, caring, funny, thoughtful, we get along well and we communicate well, and we genuinely enjoy each others company. I like hearing about her day and what she has to say about things. On paper she’s an excellent person to be with and a lot of people would be lucky to have someone like her. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be in love with her, but idk why, I’m just not. Those feelings aren’t really there and I’m actually getting further from feeling that way. And I know love doesn’t always work that way, Im not necessarily looking for some puppy dog like love that hits you in the face. I’ve been in love like that before, but idk. I feel her feelings growing (and she has expressed as much) while mine are dwindling.
Am I wrong for this? Or maybe not wrong, but am I being too much or wanting too much? Some friends in my life have expressed that I’m ignoring someone who is genuinely great right in front of me and that love is a choice and that I need to be more realistic about my relationships. And though I understand and agree with all that to a point, I just really don’t have the passion for this person. And it makes me feel like shit because she’s really great and I feel like a jerk for not being in love with her. Idk, what should I do here?
tl;dr: This woman is really great, I just don’t have strong feelings for some reason. Is that wrong and should I stick it out?