So, I’m not sure how many people will think I’m crazy after reading this but this is how I feel.
There’s this guy in my class/major who I found out in Instagram about how his parent die (like 3 years ago)and in my own healing (my mothers death which was a few months ago) I saw and thought of this as an opportunity to make a new friend. So one day I was walking past him and his friend and I told him I understood what he went through and how sorry I was for acting a little weird (by telling him this randomly). He then texted me afterwards (in a friendly way) and told me he appreciated what I said and if I ever want to hangout I should hit him up. I did take him up on it and invited him to watch a movie with me and it went fantastic. He was so nice and caring and although it wasn’t explicitly said it was a date it DEFINITELY felt like a date (he was taking out my seat for me, making intense eye contact, etc.) But, the next day in class he didn’t talk to me and when I passed him he simply just nodded his head and gave a slight smile and kept it moving. This really confused me but I was understanding like it wasn’t explicitly said it was a date or anything but thats where I understood that I definitely liked him. I shook it off and tried to forget about it but a few days later his friend (who is also mutual friends with me since I knew him from high school) came up to me and asked me how the date went. This made me super excited cause in my mind I thought since his friend said it was a date he must’ve told him it was a date (I know his friend could’ve been teasing him or something but I think if it wasn’t applied it was a date he wouldn’t feel so comfortable to come up to me and say it was). I then kinda waited like maybe he would eventually text me asking to hangout again which he didn’t do. And at this point I felt a little desperate so I texted him asking if he would like to hangout during spring break which he then responded with “Sure I’m down, who should plan it you or me”. This gave me the biggest ick everrrrrrr (and honestly looking back maybe this is a sign) so I told him “Lol nevermind , I’ll just see you after spring break” and he never responded to that. But my explanation to that my reply is that even if it was a “hangout” (insinuating friend) instead of a date why didn’t he want to plan something instead of me considering I planned last time. But anyways, spring break went by and nothing and I just went along with the flow. Then, on a Friday I brought my friend with me to school considering we were going to hangout afterwards, and she also wanted to see how he looked (spoiler alert: she didn’t like what she saw). Before class, we made an agreement that I could say an extra hour to get some studying done and she would just chill as I was doing that. But, to my surprise she had other plans. She went up to him and said that a friend that that his friend was attractive and to “let (my name) know if he’s single”. She basically insinuated that I had a thing for his friend. He did in fact let me know that his friend had a girlfriend but I still had a quick chat with him to be nice. Then, that night he texts me to ask me if I wanted to have lunch him which (since I thought he only asked because it seemed like I liked his friend) i basically told him no (not explicitly but you get what I mean). Anyways after that things were okay with us but then this not knowing of whether or not I’m in the wrong or not has Driven me insane. I’ve since avoided him and not talked to him one on one. Because I do still like him but I don’t want to pursued someone who was only interested in me because I was interested in someone else. But I’m not sure if I am right in this thinking. Because, I’ve been driven to insanity I finally asked his friend what the guy thought of our “date”. He said that he thought I was very cool and he would do it again. But yet he never contacted me directly after I had to reach out to him. Idk I’m very confused and I am very inexperienced (have never dated before) so I’m not sure if that’s why I’m clinging in but I just want to know the things I did wrong/right.
If you took the time to read this, thank you (I hope your pillows stay cold, and you eat your favorite foods today), and please please give me a sprinkle of wisdom.