I’m (23 f) married to a 32-year-old guy. Prior to us getting married, we were in a relationship for 3 years. We never got engaged or anything. He’s also my first everything (i.e. boyfriend, kiss, etc).
A lot of the times, I feel as though we’re just friends living together. We’re intimate once every few months and we give each other a peck on the lips or cheek, but that’s about it. I also feel as though a lot of the time, he’s not interested in listening to me talk about things I’m interested in or talk about my day. When I try to talk to him about that, he tells me it’s because he’s tired from work so he just wants peace and quiet which I understand, but it makes me feel shut down specially because I tend to get really excited to talk to him about it. I don’t have friends, so I don’t have anyone else to talk to about it to.
I sometimes feel like I made a mistake getting married early. I’m currently attending college full time and I feel as though at my age, getting into the field I’m wanting to get into should be my main focus. I also sometimes feel like I hopped into this marriage without really thinking about it.
When I first told my mom about our relationship, she told me to break up with him, but I got upset with her and she never brought it up since then. I think my parents really like him now though. He’s also doing a lot for me. We moved to a different city so I could live in the same city as my college and not have to commute. He works full time and volunteers to work overtime, so that we can afford our apartment, bills, etc.
It also doesn’t help that I have a classmate my age who I’m interested in and shares the same interests as me.
I feel guilty for feeling this way and I don’t know what to do. Is it normal to feel this way?
TLDR: Got married young and now I feel a bit of regret.
Edit: Just wanted to clarify that we’ve been married for 3 years. We got married when I was 21 and prior to us getting married, we dated for 3 years.