I’m positive this gets asked here a lot but here’s my story.
My GF(44F) of close to two years came out of the blue the other day and texted me(42M) that she thinks she needs a break. She wouldn’t answer my calls but sent another text saying she needs some space and how she hasn’t been happy. I asked if she was feeling this way with our relationship and if it was something I had done. She ignored the relationship question but stated it wasn’t my fault. I told her I would give her space and that I am here for her when she’s ready or if she needs anything.
That was a little over a week ago now and I still plan on giving her the space she needs. But I’ll be in her neck of the woods next week and normally I would let her know when I would be in the area and go stay with her.
So my first question I have would be if I should text her to let her know I was going to be around. I feel like if I don’t say I’m in the area, she would get more upset because I didn’t tell her. I want to tell her that I’m around but want to continue to give her the space she needs if she still needs it. But by doing that, would that break any trust regarding keeping her space? What should I take from it if I texted but receive no response?
The other question I have is if it’s ok to ask for more clarification this far out? I would like to know if she’s thinking this space is akin to a break up or if she just needs time to herself. Is it wrong to just bluntly ask for reassurance that she’s not planning on leaving me? I’d also like to ask what is making her not happy and asking her outright how I can help and be supportive. But is that just a “well no duh Sherlock, give me space that’s how you help” type moment?
If it’s not obvious, I’m one of those anxious type personalities so I’m always thinking the worse. We haven’t had any relationship issues and very few arguments leading up to this, only outside issues like work and college debts, but I feel those would be things we can work through together. I’ve let her know as much too. I mean we’re two years in, looking to move in with one another, and we’re on the same page about starting a family and where we see ourselves in the future. Her text did make it sound like this would only be for a little while but I didn’t clarify at the time. I want to be respectful but also open and honest. I just don’t want to jeopardize what we have.
Any advice?