My head’s all over the place. I’m 34 and have been single since I was a teenager. I’ve always been comfortable and happy being single and have always thought whilst I’m not against being in a relationship, it would have to be someone VERY special for me to consider letting them into my life.
Randomly, at the start of the year, I appear to have totally fell for a girl who I’ve known for a while (first met 5 years ago). I think about her every day, but she recently started seeing someone else. I respect her situation and don’t want to interfere, but I’m finding it near impossible to understand my feelings.
In my rational mind, I’ve been single and happy for so long, so why the total, sudden u-turn? Why am I struggling so much to deal with the fact that she has a partner when I’ve been genuinely happy alone for so long?
Perhaps the strangest thing is, I also now appear to be terrified that I’m never going to have a family. I’ve never particularly wanted kids (unless with said VERY special person in paragraph 1), but confused as to why I now suddenly feel worried about this… (age making it all too real?)
I’m usually strong with emotions and can handle them no bother. I’ve cut people out of my life with no hesitation many times, but this is like nothing I’ve ever experience before. I’ve randomly burst into tears a few times over the past couple of weeks, which is something I’ve never done before (I never cry, I never care…).
I’ve never been one to share feelings and bother others with my problems and I don’t really know what my question is, but it’s driving me mad so thought I’d share to see if anyone else has experienced anything similar.
\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : I’ve been happily single for many years, but now I’m suddenly struggling to deal with the fact that a girl I like i seeing someone else – why do I care so much?