I [23NB] love my bf [21M] but I can’t stop pining for a gf.

4 comments

1. These are some pretty big questions for a two paragraph summation of You. You’d have a lot better luck with some level of therapy.

   My shot in the dark guess here is that you’re some flavor of poly. Not sure that’s super helpful if your goal is to keep your bf around and happy, but we are who we are and we need what we need. And this does indeed sound like a need as you throw around some pretty heated terms like “suffocated” and “desperate.” This relationship is 3 months old. If you’re already scratching at the door, something has to give as keeping this bottled up will be impossible.

2. In a similar situation right now. The difference being i truly love my partner, yet sometimes i still wish for a gf, want to know what it’s like etc. An important question is if you feel like your needs can be met, and currently you don’t feel that this is the case. You can try and talk to him about it (I had some of these talks during the start of my relationship too), otherwise he might just not be emotionally compatible.

3. There is so much here to unpack that I think it’s going to be hard to tease out anything concrete. But I think some critica questions to think over for a while, if you haven’t already considered them, are:

   – are your needs incapable of being met by men, or just *this* man?

   – what are your emotional needs?

   – which of these needs are currently not being met?

   – have you asked your bf to try fulfilling these needs?

   – are you sexually/physically attracted to multiple genders but only romantically or emotionally attracted to women?

4. Maybe therapy would help but definitely you need to dump your boyfriend. You don’t love him. I’m assuming it is just friendship you are feeling but idk. It’s clearly a pattern though if yuou felt this way before