So, I’m so mentally conflicted right now and I need advice. There is a guy in my life who I just do not feel a romantic connection to. But, he is extremely kind, funny, is driven, and I know he would be able to provide stability to my life. I want to like him SO bad. But I just don’t have butterflies for him and I don’t get excited when we have dates planned. Given, I have only met him in person once and I am seeing him again tomorrow. I am just hoping he grows on me because I genuinely feel terrible. He’s been in the background of my life for around 2 years now—he’s been consistently interested and shown an interest in my life and milestones in my life. And I decided to be open and to meet him and give him a chance because he is so great.
He just was a little awkward on our first date. Not shy…more on the overwhelming I feel like I’m hanging out with an embarrassing child way…and it kind of gave me the ick. He swallowed an entire hot pepper at dinner after I told him it was spicy and didn’t recommend he do that and then when we went to throw axes he kept throwing it not how the place recommended and he kept flipping it in his hand—which gave me a lot of anxiety because he was not following rules and he could have cut his hand. I do believe he is neurodivergent (which, is fine. I have dated other neurodivergent men) but is it possible he just was nervous because it was a first date? Can this calm down eventually? I am ALL over the place about this.
TLDR: met a nice guy who has a lot going for him but he embarrassed me on our first date and I just don’t feel romantic feelings for him. But I really want to try to have feelings for him because he is a great person. Can you grow to develop feelings for someone?