I honestly don’t know the way forward or what to do right now. My life has kind of fallen apart, or at least is a shit show for sure. Nearly a year ago I had a completely unexpected still birth for my son with my boyfriend (26M). Since then everything has just gotten worse and worse. Honestly my boyfriend has been toxic and has cheated on me our entire relationship (we’ve been together since high school), but he stopped while I was pregnant at least. After we lost our son he wouldn’t speak to me about it, wouldn’t really let me grieve with him, wouldn’t go to therapy when I asked. It’s gotten to the point where I speak to him for maybe 20 minutes a week, and I can go days without seeing him even though I live with him. I can’t take the manipulation and toxic behavior anymore, and I can’t take being alone in my grief. I want to go up to my grandmothers but I don’t drive and I haven’t been allowed to work so I have no way to get up to her. I have no other family and don’t really have any friends because I haven’t been allowed to, he literally put a tracker on my car at one point when I was still able to drive. I’m just so trapped and I don’t know how to get out and get away. How do I find somewhere safe for me to grieve, safe for me to just leave without the manipulation and emotional abuse, how do I just get away?
Tl:dr boyfriend has gotten even more toxic after the loss of our son, and now I don’t know how to get away
4 comments
Hey, can you contact a women’s shelter? There may be one nearby that can help get you away.
Please look for a women’s shelter in your area, as soon as possible. You mentioned not being ‘allowed’ to work… He’s not allowing it? If that is the case, as soon as you can escape from him, you can get a job. Look after yourself
Contact anyone you know or used to know locally, explain that you need help and ask them for a ride to your grandmothers or even a women’s shelter.
Please leave asap before it gets worse. You can call 211 and it will give you a list of local resources. Look for local women’s or domestic abuse shelters. Start therapy on your own, and most places do telehealth visits so you wouldn’t have to worry about driving. Stay safe and I’m very sorry for your loss 💜