I feel like every conversation I have with people includes me oversharing about my thoughts. I believe it’s a form of validation seeking and self soothing. Even if I think good things about myself, I can’t really believe them until others validate me on them. It just feels so much more satisfying than having self confidence.
Thoughts get stuck in my head so often, especially bad thoughts about myself, and i just need to get them out in any way for a little bit of relief (although the validation seeking behaviors offers short term relief. it usually just leads to more needing validation later, so there’s just more stress). It isn’t really traumadumping, since I’m not usually recounting traumatic experiences. It’s more just like needing constant reassurance.
I’m so trapped in my head and it’s so difficult to have a normal conversation with others because of it. Plus, because I’m so in my own head. I don’t even realize how weird I was acting until after the interaction, and by then it’s too late to do anything.
I feel like without even realizing what I’m doing I’m just automatically looking for ways to get validation for myself in every conversation. I come off as such a pick me and so insecure, and I want to stop because it’s irritating to others and feels like it’s part of the reason I lack friends.
Yes, I’m ashamed of it. I don’t want to deal with any more shame though because I regularly deal with enough myself. I just want to change for the better.