Update – This morning he woke up with a hangover, remembered how annoyed I was last night, and decided that I might be talking sense. He volunteered to abstain while I am, after all, and going forward we’ve agreed to set limits for ourselves BEFORE we start drinking (and hold each other accountable for them.)
My husband and I both drink socially. Depending on the occasion, that might be one drink, or many. I have had family members struggle with alcoholism and decided fairly early on that drinking alone was a bad idea for me. He feels no such pressure, which is of course his decision.
Problem is, he will go to the bar by himself, or mix a drink for himself… and then keep drinking. Four, five, six drinks while I’m either completely sober, or only 1-2 drinks in. I then have to deal with his drunk self for the rest of the night. This happens two or three times a month.
I don’t feel I’m in any danger. He’s very sweet and affectionate, and will actually try to do chores (as well as he really can while drunk.) Then he’ll quietly pass out somewhere that looks terribly uncomfortable. Any suggestion that he change into pajamas or sleep in the bed is ignored. I’m not sure why this bugs me so much. Is it reasonable to ask him to stop/dial it back, or do I need to get over myself?
*Additional context: We’re trying to have a baby, and I have elected to stop drinking while there’s a chance I may be pregnant (2/3 of the month.) I asked him to join me out of solidarity last night. He decided not to, and tonight he is drunk.*
TLDR – husband’s drinking habits bug me. Should I ask him to dial it back?