My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. Early on in our relationship we would frequently talk about marriage and children and I was excited about the idea of starting a family together.
I still had some financial concerns like student loans, my low salary compared to the HCOL in the area, and trying to save up for a new reliable car but I was optimistic that things would sort themselves out.
It seems like my financial troubles started to snowball lately and I’ve started to reach a breaking point. First, my student loans didn’t get forgiven like I had hoped and I was unable to save up any money due to foolishly spending thousands into fixing up my old car. Then I was able to get a promotion but the increase in my salary wasn’t even 5k, and I was told that it would be over a year until I can even be considered for another one. I tried applying for new jobs but I’ve gotten nothing but crickets because my career field is so limited.
I reached my breaking point when my car broke down again this time with multiple issues that will cost thousands more to fix. I had to make the difficult decision to take out a loan for another car and now I’m even deeper into debt.
Between the student loans and car loan I’m starting to really feel the strain on my finances. I don’t even have $1000 in my bank account because I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck. I keep thinking to myself how am I going to help support a family if I can’t even support myself.
Lately my girlfriend and her parents keep asking when we’re going to get married and I feel like I should just let her go find someone better. My girlfriend is a successful and accomplished woman and I’ve been feeling like a total loser who doesn’t deserve her. I’m afraid that I’ll be one of those fathers who can’t help provide for their family and its not fair to put that burden on my girlfriend.
At this point in our relationship I’m starting to think that I should let her go to focus on sorting out my own life. I think it’s unfair to make her wait for me to get my life together because I honestly don’t know how long that could take. She deserves someone who is ready and comfortable about the idea of starting a family.
tl;dr girlfriend wants to get married and start a family and I’m worried due to my financial issues. I’m thinking about letting her go to sort my life out and give her the opportunity to find someone who would be happy about starting a family with her.