We have been dating for a bit now and I recently realized, after talking with a friend, how toxic the relationship has gotten. When it’s good, it’s really good. She’s in love with me and showers me with affection and even though I don’t get to see her that often, the time I spend with her is amazing and she tells me she feels the same.
But when it’s bad, it’s bad. Her mood can change from happy and playful to cold and upset in a matter of seconds, and it changed how she acts toward me. I told her this before because I was worried about her, and she said that her mood changes quite and bit and said she would communicate better. That was a while ago, and she still never communicates. This is exhausting for me, because I’m just coming out of a big mental health crisis in which I was severely depressed and I thought my life was ending. And I don’t want to get hurt by her coldness because the good times are becoming fewer and further between.
I found out she has BPD a little while ago after looking at an alternate account she uses for poetry on social media. Everything I see online says that dating someone with BPD is an absolute nightmare. And I also found out from that account that she is suicidal and I’m worried that if I leave her she will hurt herself.
What do I do? I’ll get hurt if I stay, but she’ll likely hurt herself if I leave.