I used to be so conscious of social etiquette and would get super afraid of being embarrassed. However, as I got older, I noticed how silly this mindset was. Most people don’t really care about what I am doing at any given moment.
Maybe I have zero presence, but I have noticed that nobody pays as much attention as I thought they did. I can wear the most ridiculous outfits and break numerous social norms, and most people wouldn’t bat an eye. Even when I was in school giving presentations or acting in theater, most people weren’t looking or listening to anything I said. The only individuals who were observing or paying attention to my every movement were teachers and other authorities.
I remember doing something very stupid and mean to two classmates before, and I thought that they would hate me for eternity. However, when I saw them again the very next day, they had already forgotten what I had done.
Now that I am older, I have learned to relax more and realize that it’s not a big deal. I shouldn’t be a worrywart. Nobody is really observing my every movement or paying close attention to what I say. I kind of feel like a fool now and feel like I wasted four years for nothing. But, it feels liberating though.