I’m (F/26) and I’m interested in something casual but tend to get intimidated by dating apps. I feel a little inexperienced — I didn’t loose my virginity till I was 21, and since then have slept with 3 people. All 3 were drunk hookups and pretty ‘meh’
I feel like I’ve fallen behind, and it doesn’t have much to do with opportunity. I feel like during my peak hookup years in college I was too busy with school or my own mental health issues to even consider it.
Now I feel a bit more established in my life and health, and what to get back out there. I find when I put out there that I’m looking for something causal, I do get a lot of messages from guys who are down but when it comes to the nitty gritty while chatting, I feel like I have no idea what to say. I have likes and dislikes, but nothing as elaborate as what I’ve seen some people mention.
I guess the way to get experience, is to go out and get it, but how do I navigate feeling a little out of the loop and fear of “under- performing” so to speak?
Edit: thanks, I really appreciate the feedback! Also, I’m not looking to hook up with anyone through Reddit, so your DMs will be deleted.
8 comments
Underperforming in what way?
Tbh, most guys do not care how you perform. But it also doesn’t hurt to be up front and tell them what you want.
FWB will be also drunk (or sober) hookups and most likely will be “meh” because guys don’t want to put effort into hookups. Unless you do it with a real guys friend because other guys might just lie that they want FWB to get laid, then give you an STD and disappear.
They do not care if you underperform as guys just look for a willing hole. Sorry to be honest but you better learn now.
I have had wonderful sex with relatively inexperienced women, and plenty of promiscuous women, including my wife, who were pillow princesses, or starfish, whatever one wants to call low effort, or distracted woman in bed. You don’t get better with random experience, just have more of a risk of emotional damage.
Come see me, you won’t feel under experienced anymore
Welp Rip your dms XD. In all seriousness I wouldn’t worry about underperforming as long as you communicate properly there shouldn’t be an issue if your fwb in question is worth anything.
should be ez just sign up for tinder
I wouldn’t consider you “inexperienced” at all. The average person has had sex with 0-6 people over the course of their lifetimes. You’ve already had 3 at the age of 26, and you still have 50+ years to go.