I (f19) have been seeing this guy (m20) for about a month now. We matched on hinge and hit it off when we realized we were in a club together as kids. We decided to grab a quick drink and ended up talking for 5 hours and making out in his car. We then saw each other 4 days consecutively after that before we slept together. The sex was okay, he finished but I didn’t (he didn’t make any effort to try and help me out). After the first week though we both got pretty busy with work. We both work hospitality jobs so have long hours and weird schedules but we’ve messaged briefly every day. My problem is in the fact that he acts incredibly sweetly but never seems to want to hang out/do anything. He has surprised me by making the drive (about 30 mins) over to my work twice but has never had the time to stay till my shift is over and come back to my place/go out for a drink etc. however both of these times he made very sweet gestures/gave small but very thoughtful and sweet gifts. I’ve now suggested 4 separate activities on 4 separate days (all where I would drive and pay although none of them fancy or expensive, just grabbing a pizza and watching the sunset kinda thing). He has turned down all of them and not made any counter suggestions to see each other any time soon. I’m confused because I thought we were getting on really well and the two very sweet gestures he has made are giving boyfriend energy, but his indifference towards seeing me or doing anything anything at all (not even a booty call) kinda make me feel like he’s not into me. I know he’s not seeing anyone else but I’ve had a few other guys on dating apps ask me out but I feel guilty seeing multiple people at once.
Should I focus on the sweet things he’s doing and give him the benefit of the doubt that he is tired and work is busy? Or should I tell myself to let it go and that he’s not into me? I guess I’m a little insecure that I don’t want it to be the second part – rejection is never easy to deal with, especially after sex, but I also try to imagine other people complexly and treat people with empathy and understanding.
Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else?
Thanks in advance xx