My housemate/lodger got really angry at me there. They broke my full lenght mirror (the only mirror in the house) 2 and a half weeks ago. Its explicitly my mirror, stays in my room but they always borrow it and leave it in the hall. I said at the time thats fine just replace it.
Today I asked them if they’d ordered a new one yet and when they said they hadnt I was a bit annoyed and was like that’s fine, ive ordered a new one anyway but can you send me £20 for the one you broke. They got really angry because I hadn’t communicated that it was urgent and said I was being hostile?
I’m aware 2 and half weeks is not super long, but like, im using my phone to do my hair before work in the morning? I just replied saying when you break someone elses things its always urgent. Idk, i was definitly annoyed they hadnt gotten round to it yet and expressed this, maybe we were both unreasonable?
I am having a lot of underlying resentment building up which is probably impacting things. They are unemployed and go out socialising at least 5 times a week and come home around 1am minimum. My dog will bark which wakes me up and I am underslept at work. They will store dirty clothes in the washing machine for days and then take days to remove the clean clothes. I nearly always end up putting the clothes in a plastic bag so I can use the machine. They have 40 – 1 hour long showers using the bathroom. They turn the heating on in May to dry their clothes. They don’t know what day the bins go out. They always need to be reminded to pay the rent and are always late – they get full rent paid by social welfare and I have given them a deal which makes them better off than if they were in any other living situation. I’d said when they moved in it would be for a year and they assured me they were on the list for social housing, but I found out they only applied 5 months after they moved in. We are friends and I do care about them but I dont want a housemate anymore. There is a housing crisis here so I dont want to kick them out or make them feel unwanted when they dont have any other options. But at the same time I am really struggling.
I have BPD and really struggle with interpersonal conflict. I tend to avoid it to keep the peace and when I try and assert my boundaries it always feels clunky and is reacted to badly. Please help me to navigate this/tell me if i dod something wrong