I am a 28 year old guy who is finally making the big move. I currently live in New England in a small town of about 60K. I have lived here since I was 5 years old. I am finally moving and leaving. All my friends and my parents live here. This is a major move for me across the country where I will not know anybody. I’ve always wanted to leave and have passed up opportunities before due to fear and uncertainty. Now I am moving to Austin, Texas. I will be alone and will not know anyone there. I am quite anxious and worried but deep down inside I know I need to do this to grow as a person. I’ve wanted to get away from the everyday mundane and familiar, to get away from old friends who seem to be going down their own live paths or not having any paths. I want to flourish and test myself as a man. I’m tired of drinking and smoking weed every weekend and not doing shit with my life. I work In a good industry and made decent money but haven’t really dated and I’ve lived with my parents through college and after. I’m finally going on my own. My question to this group is, how do you meet new people? How do you get over anxiety? How do I put myself out there? I would love to hear guys who were older or even younger and have done this. I figured I should do it while I’m still in my 20s and at least live a little instead of just wasting my youth on mediocrity. Any advice or opinions would be helpful, thanks.
8 comments
You can always move back
1. 60K might seem small to you, but as a guy who grew up in an actual small town of 900 in the middle of nowhere Iowa, that’s pretty funny to me.
2. I (M30) moved quite a bit growing up and then a lot in college as I was traveling for internships every summer. Went from a town of 900 to a city of 130K to eventually a larger city of 1.5 million. In my opinion the best way to meet friends has been through either work or small social groups / clubs. I recently got interested in trading cards so I started to show up to my local game store when they had game nights and met people that way. A friend from work meanwhile invited me to try out curling with him and now I’ve been doing it every winter for the last five years and have met people through that. Find your local Facebook page for your city or your local subreddit and ask people there where the fun places to hang out are. In my experience you just need to put yourself “out there” and be willing to try new things. You don’t necessarily need to be the best of friends with folks right off the bat, and sometimes you’ll click and other times you won’t. Good luck!
Find any and all social groups that meet up at night, from social volleyball to soccer or kickball.
Be consistent about the game play and don’t let the drinking overwhelm the experience.
Do yourself a favor and find ways to pinch pennies with food and expenses to maximize experiences socializing, and consider 401k and HSA offerings with new corporate access.
Austin is a good town to meet people. It’s kind of a party town with a young vibe. There are a few ways to meet people in this situation.
Work. You’ll already be interacting with new people at work. Ask them what they doing for fun. Be open to trying something new.
Neighbors. If you’re living in an apartment complex, say high to your neighbors. Let them know you’re new to the Austin. Ask them about fun things to do.
Hobbies. If there’s something you do for a hobby, there’s likely others that do it too. Try social media to find clubs that are doing those things. You cam make friends while doing something you enjoy.
Just be ready to leave your past behind you and embrace the new. Be prepared for some culture shock.
Find a western bar in your neighborhood and see if they have a western dance class. Learn to two-step and then some country swing. Literally anybody can down two-step.
I’d be totally blown way if there wasn’t more than one sub reddit dedicated to Austin.
Listen to White Snake- here I go again as you leave town.
Just want to say that’s awesome. Also live in new England but will never make enough to live on my own or leave. Only advice is avoid roommates, get a nice tv and bask in the glory of not having to worry being home at x time, complete freedom to do what you want. Want to bake a cake at 2 am get drunk and watch a movie, you can do it! Meeting people I have no advice, I wasted my 20s and I’m a little older than you.
Go to festivals and concerts and meet people there. It’s quite easy once you get used to “the first contact”.
Good for you, this sounds like an exciting chapter, and future-you will thank you for doing this.
To add the advice that’s already been given, I’d say that feeling homesick isn’t a sign it’s the wrong move. I moved out when I was 17. I was excited about it all the way up to moving day – and then for the first week I did nothing but question the move because I felt so homesick. The new place was so alien and it wasn’t what my brain considered home so it made me despise the place.
This is natural. After a week or so, when I started putting my stuff around the flat and I got to know the town better, it started feeling like home. I loved that place and it was one of the best things I did.
So it might feel strange at first but bear with it – it’ll soon pass.