Do you know any guys who fixed their life after 30? Can you share their story?

35 comments

1. I’m still on the journey but life is better in my 30s than my 20s… my 20s I had no direction, made countless near sighted decisions (mostly for validation) , and was a drug addict.

   Cleaned up my act, got a job, condo, car etc but still working on trying to meet my full potential I believe I’m capable of. All I can advise is to keep going and stay positive, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

2. I nearly ruined my life at 40. I lost everything in more ways than one and have completely rebuilt bigger and better since. 47m

3. I was a jobless bum until I turned 25, finally got my act together and with dole money learned to drive, got my license and within a month found an agency job driving cars at British car auctions. Found out I actually like driving for a living because it doesn’t kill me.

   From there went to work a soul sucking job at asda as a delivery driver for 4 years, used the money I saved from that job to pay for my class 2 license. Got another agency job here there and everywhere to get experience.

   Got a permanent job with a company that was bad pay, but job was easy 8 hr run and did that until covid hit and work dried up.

   Now working for local council as a bin driver earning good money and have made good friends there, one of which invited me on a trip to thailand.

   Met the love of my life in thailand and wanted to do anything to be with her, visited 2 weeks at first, then 5 months later visited for another 4 weeks, then 6 months after that visited for what was supposed to be 6 months and I had planned to propose, but she beat me to the punch and asked me first lol.

   We got married and the original plan was for me to spend 6 months in uk and 6 months in thailand, but we quickly realised that would hard for both of us, so she said she wants to come stay with me in uk.

   Took a loan of 10,000 to pay for everything in thailand and 6000 of that went towards getting her uk spouse visa, glad to say it was accepted but I was quickly running out of money because of the unplanned expense.

   Found the cheapest flight back to uk for the both of us that meant we was travelling for 31 hours in total and now she’s living with me in the UK and currently working part time, but trying to find a full time job.

   I’ve gone back to work and all my friends are happy for me, went from 25 and never having a girlfriend to 37 year old, good job and happily married.

4. My 20s were mostly spent working construction and doing drugs. Like… a lot of drugs. I was just not in a good place in life. I moved away from all of that in my late 20s and stopped doing drugs, but still had nothing to show for it. I went to college for the first time and got an associates degree in Nursing when I was in my 30s. Started work. Went back for my bachelor’s. I am still working full time and now going back for my master’s. I’ve gotten married, bought a house, and have a pretty damn good life now. It basically all started in my 30s. I consider everything before my 30s a learning experience for my real life that started in my 30s. Some of us just take the long road to get where we’re going.

5. I started out as a carpentry laborer, making $12 an hour when I was 26. The company I work at does every major trade plus some other shit. So my title was “carpentry laborer,” but really, I worked with whatever team needed an extra cheap hand that day. So I eventually did a couple jobs for the electrical team and one day no one had work for me so I was at the shop cleaning/organizing the cage, when someone came down and asked me to do a favor for them on my way home and I could take a company van and be clocked in the entire time so I said sure.

   I had to take a light pole from our shop to a movie theater, talk to the manager, drop it off were directed, and then take 3 pictures of it and then send them to the guy who had talked to me. It turns out that the guy was the service manager for the electrical team who I had never met, shortly after that the company split the laborers to different teams and he said that he wanted me on his team because I follow instructions well and I’d dug a few trenches for them and he liked that I would dig and not bitch.

   At my 1-year review, I got offered a spot in the company apprenticeship, got a company van and gas card, and work paid for my schooling. I passed my Journeymans test this past February at 32 and am making more money than I ever thought I would, own a house, and have my 3 dogs that I always wanted.

   Sometimes it takes a little while to figure out what you want. It takes even longer to find a way to make it happen. But you gotta make that goal and then figure it out one step at a time. All I knew was I wanted to find a career by the time I was 30.

6. I almost drank myself to death at 30 with a BAC of .503, I was unemployed at the time as well.

   Went to rehab, sobered up and now have a 6 figure job in Finance at 32. It’s never too late, I’d recommend taking action immediately. Turn lazy in to proactiveness. Otherwise your stupid decisions won’t change.

7. I realized that I needed help and took time off to get mental health treatment after years of limping through life.

   It’s a process, but I’m doing better now than I have for a long time.

8. It’s easy to ask for advice, more difficult to follow through.

   If you wish for a better life, become disciplined in the things you do.

   Write a attainable goal sheet. Five things to accomplish this year. Easiest to most difficult. Dedicate yourself to completing each one. Then write a new one and so on.

   I know several men that have overcome difficulties. Mostly due to their own actions.

   But, they recognized their faults and pushed through. One became an attorney at 34. The other received his business degree and after a long road he worked his way up to regional vice President on his 40’s.

9. I got addicted to drugs in my early teens, multiple overdoses in my 20s, 3 DUIs, a ton of shit. Went to jail multiple times as well and did a year between 2020-2021. I just turned 33.

   Honestly, I’m so far behind all my friends and family barely speak to me anymore. But I know one thing, it ain’t going to get better with out a ton of effort. I’ve gotten clean, everyone in my day to day life (for the most part, can’t please everybody) respects me or at least tells me they enjoy me being around, and that’s a stark contrast to what life used to be.

   It’s the little things that eventually add up. I have a girlfriend now, someone who didn’t want me when I was a mess, I have a home, pets. I’m working on getting a career and that seems to be the biggest hurdle. But I’ll get there, and I’m sure you will too. You just have to take it slow and think about what it is you want, and start making the adjustments no matter how hard they may seem.

10. Me.

    I won’t tell my story but I’ll share what I read. It was this poem. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/58012/the-men-that-dont-fit-in

    It shook me to my core. I realized life was having a jolly good joke on me and I didn’t want that. It took some doing but I turned things around and life has worked out well for me.

11. Colonel Saunders (Kentucky Friend Chicken)

    Ray Kroc, (McDonald’s founder)

12. Quick story, I quit drinking at 31 and started therapy. Life is amazing 8 years later!

13. I have a buddy who used drugs into his 40s, got clean, built a life, found a family. In his 60s now and he is probably the most “I love life” guy I know because he knows how close he came to messing it all up.

14. Mid 20s stopped smoking, paid off debt, got better factory job, went back to uni part time.

    finished Bachelor’s, moved to city, got better job, made some money.

    Started volunteering nights with cool charity, quit job to do long term volunteering abroad, learned a new language, met spouse.

    Did grad school, got married, used grad school connections to land job.

    networked into another job, pandemic sent us WFH. went full remote, doing OK.

    All of this started when I woke up mid 20s in debt, addicted, and super frustrated and embarrassed with life outcomes.

    Some days are better than others. It’s not all about the career though.

15. I sorta fixed it just *before* my 30s (I’m 33 now). I got into grad school at 22, had a hell of a time, and failed multiple classes and failed out at 24, with 100k of school debt. Got back into a different school at 25, passed, and graduated at 27, and by that time had 150k of debt. Worked my ass at 28-31 and paid them off entirely while living at my parents house. Now I’m 33, absolutely no debt, make more than 6 figures, and got my own apartment and brand new car.

16. Since I was a young teenager, I was a hateful, selfish drug addict. I felt like people deserved their lot in life, myself included. At 34 I went to therapy to get help quitting and learned that the reason I started using was because of mental problems I developed at a young age due to my upbringing. I thus stopped blaming myself and developed personal empathy which naturally extended to others. A couple years later I was able to quit using thanks to the medical community and also being fed up with wasting my life. I was sober for a year and a half before realizing that something still wasn’t quite right but after some introspection I realized I had generalized anxiety disorder. I got meds for that and now I’m doing great. During the time I was sober I:

    -lost weight

    -learned chinese

    -got physical ailments fixed

    -quit smoking, sugar, overeating, became vegetarian for ethical reasons

    -learned who i am, what i value and what i want out of life

    -became successfully self employed

    -discovered the reason i used drugs/alc and fixed it

    if anyone who reads this can relate and wants advice feel free to reach out

17. I went to community college at 29 for computer science. Worked hard and for involved in anything I could. Found a mentor and they gave me a great opportunity. Been working in videogames for almost ten years. Making great money.

18. Hi, I just turned 41 and enrolled in college for a 2nd degree this past January.

19. I got sober at the age of 31

    That was back in 1988

    I did a lot of well-needed growing up at that time

20. Reading through all of these make me really proud to be a man. Well done, Gents. Thanks for sharing and giving me hope for the grind.

21. My other half was a bit older than you when they decided to get away from shitty temp work and go back to school to be a doctor. There were at least a dozen people around the same age on their program. It’s never too late.

    The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.

22. My ex-wife left when I turned 40. She took the kids briefly before she decided that she couldn’t handle them, left them with me, left me with a mortgage and paid child support for roughly one year, and quit a few months after she got re-married.
    I thought I had lost everything, when in fact, the whole world opened up. I got a new job making twice as much money, a new girl who is the best thing to happen to me that is not my kids being born, and the second half of my life is shaping up to be the polar opposite of the first half.

23. I was twice-divorced and had 3 kids by the time I was 28. From 28-42 I finished college, tripled my income, bought a 5 bedroom home in a nice neighborhood, and am currently working on a second degree black belt in a martial art.

    I made a lot of dumb life choices early on, but you can always turn things around if you know how to motivate yourself.

24. I was an alcoholic immature shithead making maximum $13 an hour until about 31. Stopped drinking and decided fuck this I’m going to change my life. Now I’m happily married with a solid job and doing well.

25. Idk I’m 37 and my life has only gotten worse and worse. I’m not at liberty to discuss myself anymore

26. I generally have pretty similar advice for people in this situation. Military is always great option, it’ll give you a job with survivable wages (stay in the barracks as long as you can, save your money.) you get some right now money, an opportunity for a career, and if you get out it looks good on a resume.

    If you actively despise the idea of joining the military because you either don’t have a natural sense of patriotism or duty (I do not mean that condescendingly) or you don’t think you can stomach the idea of being shit on for no real reason for 4-6 years then I always recommend an apprenticeship. If you live where there are strong unions then I definitely recommend union work.

27. My best childhood friend is 2 months away from his parole ending. He’s been sober now for 14 months after 10+ years of felonies, drug abuse, homelessness and prison. He spiraled downwards after his mom died.

    I hadn’t seen or heard from him in years. Then his sister sent me a video of him playing with his nephew for the first time. I knew then that he was going to make it this time. We’ve talked a lot since. We are both 37.

    I’m glad you’re back Nick.

28. At 40 I’m doing a fuck of a lot better than I ever would have thought I’d do when I was 30.

29. I’m 51 and been working on fixing my life for the last few years.

    My wife of 14 years left me and married a former friend about 12 years ago. I fell into pretty heavy partying. Spend about 5 years digging a pretty big debt pile.

    I took on a bunch of jobs, saved my house from foreclosure, fought a false allegation of domestic violence, fought for visitation of my kids, got caught up with the IRS, paid off about $50k in consumer debt, saved up a nest egg. Now I’m in the stage of getting healthier… mentally, physically and emotionally.

30. Steve-o. Dude was a mess in his 20s and 30s. He was hooked on so many drugs and just in a really bad way. He got his shit together and he’s doing awesome in his 40s, soon to be 50.

31. You’re so young dude, don’t worry. You’ve got a ton of time. Look into job markets and try to obtain a marketable skill. You can do this

    But a nice first step might be changing your username away from anything that contains both furry & lover

32. 33 going on 34 male, and I just flipped the chess board yet again. Self Sabatoge has kind of been my thing for the last decade or so, and I just lost to it again. Each time, I tend to build myself up quite well over the course of 2-5 years and then absolutely implode. Each time, I try to identify what was going on in me to determine why I did that stupid thing and start working on that. Rebellion, Grief, Addiction, Childhood Trauma, and undiagnosed adult ADHD are a few of the issues I have or am currently addressing. It sucks how much digging I’m having to do to understand myself

    Calling yourself lazy kind of triggered me. While it can be a personality trait, and one that I might exhibit, it could be also be a symptom of ADHD Task Avoidance which I do frequently as well.

    Idk I want to recommend getting a therapist that you are comfortable with and work through whatever headstuff you might be dealing with (and I don’t want to presume you do but I certainly have for awhile). A life coach could also help keep you accountable to a growth trajectory. Again, I could just be projecting. Could I get a ping in a few days to check that thought?

33. 18-20 I was in college but doing the bare minimum playing a lot of video games

    20-23 I dropped out of college after 9/11 and joined the army

    23-26 I got a psychology degree (don’t do this if you want a job)

    27-31 I was a minimum wage security guard/unemployed. This was a low time in my life, this was also during the 08 recession so finding work was incredibly difficult.

    31-33 I was a computer science student

    33-42 I am a software engineer

    25 isn’t even old. I changed my life in my 30s. I know guys that became software engineers in their 40s and are doing well now.

34. Sometimes people who hate themselves for being lazy just have ADHD and need medication + therapy. Not saying that’s you, but if it is…

35. Pretty much all of them. In fact, the people who were successful before 30 are the exception.

    I pretty much spent my twenties searching and I didn’t even know for what. Studied something that wasn’t for me and stubbornly held on until it was too late to change. Eventually had to give up. Started a company without much of a clue, eventually had to sell it because it took all my time and I couldn’t make a living with it. Started a job as a government contractor at 26 and ended up in a toxic environment without any hope for improvement. Lived paycheck to paycheck at that time.

    But through all that I learned who I was and what I liked. What my strengths and my weaknesses were. And there was one small part of my job that I actually liked and was good at.

    I was about 30 when I changed jobs. The small part that I liked and was good at, now became my main focus and is my career to this day.

    That professional success fixed a lot of other things too. When I wasn’t focused on just making enough money to cover bills and rent, I actually started taking care of my body. I developed relationships with people that weren’t purely business.

    Today, I consider my 20s just a time of searching. My 30s as the decade it all came together. And as the cliché goes: “Every year of my thirties was better than any year of my twenties”.

    My 40s are all about overcoming big challenges that are opportunities too. It is start to look like my most exciting decade yet.