I dont know what to do. My husband left his laptop on and I looked into his history. He stalks this girl on instagram all hours of the day. Im saying 1 am 4 am 6pm 9pm…. its constant. he keeps going to her profile and replaying her stories. Im 7 weeks post partum and he wasnt really excited about going back to being intimate. We lost our intimacy during my pregnancy too. Idk if i should confront him about this ….
13 comments
Confront! That’s so inappropriate.
You really should confront him, that is very weird and frankly a bit creepy
In my opinion you should talk to him about it. Leaving things to fester is never a good idea in a marriage. You don’t need to be confrontational but you should bring it up to him. Tell him you find it inappropriate, it’s really bothering you, and it’s starting to affect your relationship. I would also dig into why he seems disinterested in restarting intimacy. Good luck
Confrontation…easy girl. We do fked up things when our life changes. Doesn’t mean we stopped loving. Just we fked up.
That is extremely creepy, disrespectful, and inappropriate, call him out on it!
Male here. Well certainly talk about it, but if you start out confrontational and angry it will get nowhere. I know your emotions will try to get the best of you, don’t let your emotions get the best of you. IMO approche calmly and ask why does he feel the need to do that, are you not enough for him?
Look if you come at him in an accusatory manner it will escalate into confrontation. Play it smart. The first question is why does he feel he needs that. Take it calm and easy. Like at a moment when it’s calm and say, “I noticed xxx on your computer and I am trying to figure out why you need that, am I not enough for you?” Do not confront just ask leading questions, you know the old saying give’em enough rope and they will hang themselves. Try to get him to understand it hurt you and you feel betrayed. Again though try not to be a accusatory, it will degrade into confrontation.
Yeah you should confront him about that. Obviously he is crushing hard and being obsessive about it. This really is just a goober ass move on his part. Maybe this is cutting him too much slack but I might take the low key approach. Something like “Hun there’s something I really want to talk about that’s really been upsetting me. I know things have been…”
But if you end up taking the berating, get-your-head-in-the-game approach, I don’t think anyone would fault you one bit. Not always the healthiest but sometimes it’s needed to get the point across.
Do you know he is going and replaying his stories? It’s possible she is an over poster and . I follow someone who posts a TON of stories every day. Every time I check Instagram (multiple times per day) there are new stories from her. So it probably looks like I am going to her profile often and watching her stories. Where really I am just checking the stories of the people I follow. That said, it’s worth talking to him about this! I’m just saying, unless you have another reason to be distrustful, try not to jump to conclusions before speaking with him.
Just ask him about it. Is it someone he knows air a stranger a thousand miles away? Idk what the content of the instagram is but maybe he enjoys it? It’s possible he doesn’t see whatever it is as being inappropriate. Just discuss it with him and explain your confused by it and are curious what it’s all about. Just tell him how you feel and if he’s not a complete knob, chances are he’ll be understanding.
That’s just weird and creepy! Sorry.
Creepy. I wouldn’t be happy if my husband was doing that. But I also don’t feel the need to search through his browsing history…. What lead to that? Sounds like more going on with trust issues and that should also be worked on.
I’m not sure why you broached the conversation like that. “Do you really?” is that helpful? I mean I would bet there are ways to bring it up. unless that’s how you usually discuss things.
The thing with Instagram history is that it logs a new record in the history for each story he viewed, the girl could just post a whole bunch and he could just be looking at the stories and it looks like he constantly pulls her up when that may not be the case.
OP I believe he fucked up, but It sounds like hes being genuine because hes offered to give you his devices. Of course only you know how the tone of the conversation went so if he sounded genuine in his apology I say you try your best to move past this.
Post partum will make what youre feeling way worse than what it actually is, but just know that there is nothing wrong with you!