I will make this as short as possible.
My dad had a family before he married my mom and I was born.
The kids in that family range from 52-60.
The split was bad- the mother of that group met and fell for someone when my dad was in the navy, up and left.
As a result, there was no relationship with him and the kids.
He passed away in 87.
I never spoke to anyone on his side of the family.
A few years back, my sister, call her “m”, tracks me down.
I was skeptical, but she had pics of my dad I had never seen.
We chat via text, and I tell her all I know about my dad.
She spent a long time l9oking for me. Many years. Much effort.
I was not awesome. Due to a million unrelated things, I don’t interact with my family except for my mom- I take care of everything for her, no help from the other kids.
As a result, I wasn’t in to family. Still am not. I am not an incredibly social person either, nor do I need the validation of others.
I was going through some semi difficult things as well, and have for all intents and purposes blown my sister off.
We texted several times a week before I let it go- the final straw for me was her wanting me to call.
I was leaving for a much needed vacation, and said I wanted to wait to talk on the phone.
She started calling. I didn’t answer. She continued throughout my vacation, always texting that I would call when I got back.
She kept calling, so I began ignoring her.
I don’t regret that at all. It has been almost 2 years since that week.
However- I do think it would be kind for me to give one more effort to see if we could build a small relationship.
Do I acknowledge the anger I felt and tell her I will engage in contact at my pace, or do I just send a “how are you doing” type message?
She still sends occasional messages, all good natured and kind. Shall I wait till she sends another and just respond as if there was no gap in contact?
It is very awkward, and I would love to hear opinions.