My (26F) husband (29M) and I bought and moved into our home in 2022. We relocated into a smaller town for my husband’s new job and decided it would make most sense to buy a home, since renting would be more expensive.
We found a beautiful house with a large yard and were super excited to move in and have more room and space for potential family expansion.
Now to the issue: we fell in love with the yard that has amazing flower beds, a pond, lots of trees and shrubs, etc. unfortunately we were not ready for how much work this yard is. My husband enjoys working in the yard and has decided he wants to start growing vegetables, so we put in a greenhouse and raised beds, so he could start with that. All of this is great but I am starting to get overwhelmed with all the work this new home is causing us. Both my husband and I work full time and as soon as we get home, we either need to upkeep the yard, house, cook, clean and nothing is ever quite „good enough“. Our entire life is revolving around this home and I can’t remember the last time we ever just sat in the yard and got to actually enjoy it or have a date night outside of the house.
I am beginning to be very frustrated and this has already caused a couple of fights. I am starting to really miss living in an apartment, where I actually felt like I had a life outside of owning a home. I feel like this issue is beginning to ruin my marriage because we are more room mates and yard workers than husband and wife.
I have raised the issue to my husband, he understands where I am coming from, but is not willing to change anything in our situation. Now he wants us to try for children and I am completely lost, how that would fit into our already packed schedule. We will never have time for our relationship.
How do you guys keep everything balanced and still have the time to upkeep your marriage?
TL;DR! My husband and I recently bought a house and the upkeep is causing us to completely disregard our relationship. How do you keep housework, yardwork and your actual job balanced and still make time for your marriage/relationship?
Edit: changed typo from my husband bought a home to „my husband and I“