My girlfriend and I have been together for 11 or 12 years, I’m not exactly sure. For 8 years, our relationship was great—no arguments, 100% trust. Then, at 11 o’clock at night, she started going out for coffee with a friend. She never hid this and always came home within an hour or two. That’s when I started experiencing anxiety attacks. I was constantly checking her phone and her whereabouts. It was unhealthy behavior. This went on for about a year. Our flatmates at the time moved out because of the arguing; she moved out too, and I moved back home. Somehow, we managed to work things out. We went on trips together, I visited regularly. Everything was practically normal except for our sex life. Because of past issues, it was difficult for me to make progress in that area—kissing, touching, etc.
A week ago, she moved to Sweden for work. We have plans for a vacation together. Ideally, she should be back in November, but you never know how life turns out. Before she left, she cried and said if I found a new girlfriend, I should tell her. I said I had no plans to find a new girlfriend and that I was willing to wait for her. Now I’m gripped with panic and anxiety—what if she stays there? What if she meets someone new? I would truly regret throwing away the past few years of effort. Without exception, she is the best girlfriend I’ve had, and I really don’t want to lose her.
I get anxiety attacks now. She hasn’t even put me on “seen” on Messenger for 18 hours which could mean nothing of course. But I highly doubt that she didn’t user her phone for 18 hrs.
TLDR: do I wait? Or do I move on?