When it comes to dating, I’ve had a handful of really good relationships and a handful of meh to toxic relationships.
But in all of them, I settled for women where I really loved their personality, but not necessarily their body type.
None of them were unattractive to me, just simply not as aligned with my ideal type as I would like
I settled down in each case because we got along great or had a lot in common and I didn’t want to seem shallow or unrealistic by turning them down just because their body wasn’t my ideal. I was definitely still attracted enough to each person to make it work
But in each case I felt my eyes wandering because I knew there were women out there with the body type I truly desired most. I never broke up with anyone or cheated because of this, it was always other issues
The body type that I like is certainly out there, I see it a few times every day. It’s nothing extremely unrealistic or edited. But I have no clue if those folks would be compatible with me on a deeper level
It just seems crazy to think that someone could align with my values / interests etc and also be physically ideal (to me) all at once
I just feel like if I’m going to be monogamous for the rest of my life, it has to be with someone I’m ridiculously attracted to. Maybe that’s selfish of me, but it feels true. That’s part of why monogamy has been so hard for me
I’m just tired of having wandering eyes because I always settle for people I am less physically attracted to, based on the other positive aspects of their personality
Right now a few very sweet girls are interested in me, who I know would make good partners. But again they aren’t my preferred body type and I don’t want to lead them on just to have this issue once again in the future
I know nobody will be ever perfect and bodies change over time, but is it wrong of me to really prioritize my favored body type the next time I date?
TL;DR
I like a specific body type but I always date people outside of my type as long as they have good personalities and common interests
This leads me to always have wandering eyes because I know I “settled” when people I’m more attracted to are out there
But that begs the question of how many people are both my preferred type AND have compatible personalities
I worry I’m being too selfish or that the percentage is unrealistically low