I [25] have been dating my boyfriend [22] for over a year. We have a very good relationship; he is always supporting me and usually treats me very well. However, sometimes he is lazy about making an effort or reading social cues. I have communicated to him that I had a traumatic experience with an ex-boyfriend on my birthday, so I thought he’d understand how I feel about this event. So when it was his birthday week, I planned a surprise party, cleaned his apartment, contacted everyone, paid for the food and accessories. Also, I gave him clothes and a nice breakfast in the morning with a cake. I think it was a lot, but that’s my gratitude for him being such an amazing person. I don’t request the same amount back from him, but something little would already make my day. So in the month of my birthday, I was trying to pay for my clothes I was ordering online and he offered to pay, so it was settled as a birthday present. Now it’s my birthday and I think I had some expectations from him. He wished me a happy birthday and that’s it. I don’t know if it’s because of my trauma, but I got sad to expect him to make breakfast or come with flowers. Even though he’s an amazing boyfriend, I think he didn’t put much thought/effort into my day. Is it okay for me to feel sad about this? I am very embarrassed to talk about this to him because it sounds petty.
TLDR:
Feeling let down on my birthday despite past efforts and trauma disclosure; wondering if it’s okay to feel this way.