I, My Sister, My Mother and My Grandmother live together in a big house. My Father left when i was 2, My Grandpa is alive but has never been in my life and my Grandmas Second Lover who i consider to be my grandpa died in 2011 to Lung Cancer.
So heres what hapened today. Tell me if ive been gaslighted or not but it sure feels like it:
My pet bearded dragon got a wierd lump on her upper lip that she flinches from whenever i touch it so its obviosly painful. I told my mother who said she whoudnt bring her to a vet because shes tired and it costs money. (Mind you ive told her many times in the past 3 months to take her to a vet). I told my grandmother and she just chucked about it and said shes fine and she whoudnt be doing it.
I offered to pay the vet fees and my Sister even offered to pay them but they still refuse.
We argued untill my grandma walked in. We spoke back and forth untill my Grandma insulted me. I insulted her back with a way less bad insult and then she called me a Moron and i called her stupid.
My mother came between us and looked at me and told that i had to stop even tho my grandma started it by insulting me first. Now both are angry at me and my mother told me im scary when im mad (even tho i havent even touched them in 4 Years when ive been mad and last time i did i just grabed my mother by her shoulders gently and said please lissen to me, i havent actually hit anyone in anger for 10+ years and im 21 yet im still too scary i guess) and my mother said i had to think about what i said. I asked what was the wrong thing i said. She dodged the question like 3 times and started to speak about someting else.
When she finaly answeared she said ‘Do you think what you said will make things better or change someting?’ I said ‘I guess not.’ (Since me and my grandmas fight end the same way everytime where my mother picks her side and im left on my own to make the whole thing be my fault). I told her ‘How did my Grandmother insulting me help?’ She said ‘You shouldnt insult her and i should respect my elderly.’ I said now in anger ‘I dont respect her nor you right now and i cant believe what im hearing’ she then left to the balcony to smoke like she allways does after these fights.
I was so angered and annoyed but then my Sister came to me and started calming me down and said she agreed me. We talked back and forth till i wasent as angry anymore and i just walked into the bathroom and cooled off there.
I hate these 2 women and how my mother is such a coward to allways take my grandmas side. ( Couple times she has spoken to me later to tell me she agreed with me and that she didint want to fight with her mother. But apearently her son isint off the limits even tho acording to her im scary when mad and when i told her so was Grandma she just said no she isint. So wtf. )
Not to mention my mother told me i ruined her day afterwards. Is this gaslighting? If it is its been hapening since i was a little kid.
I wonder what it takes for them to finaly go and bring her to a vet… they preasured me to get her in the first place. I said i wasent sure if i was responsible enough and that its an exotic pet that needs medical check ups. They told me that someone else was trying to buy her and that this might be my only change so i got her. Yet when i complained to them about that they both looled angry or very annoyed and refused to answear that.
I feel bullied due to my Autism and memory problems causing me to often forget things i or they said wich makes this even more annoying. I allways apologise for these since i see things better that way than us being mad at each other. My grandma even has said to me that if i fought with her like this again she whould leave. That was years ago so obviosly she wasent being serious but still.
This time? No i refuse to apologise i did nothing wrong. Mayby i shoudnt have insulted my grandma back but at that point them seemingly seeing my pet as some toy made me so angry i did insult her back. And now i remember what i called her and what she called me. She called me a Log-Head and i called her a Car Jack. After wich she called me a moron and i called her stupid. Thats how it went and that was the worst thing i did in this.
This isint the first time all this hapened. This is like the hundred time. My family well…
My Sister is Timid and doesent want to take part in these fights but she often messages to me or just tells me later that i was in the right when all is over. (i dont blame her for being timid, shes had a rough childhood in being depressed, bullied and loosing half her hearing to infection.)
My Mother is Scared of her mother clearly but even when our Grandma isint involved she never has said to me she was wrong. For example yesterday she said ‘Coffee doesent corrode your teeth.’ I called bs and googled and i was correct and coffee is acidic and can corrode your teeth. I told her to admid she was wrong like 5 times and she never did. This was a minor thing but upon reflecting now i dont think she has ever apologised for being wrong ever.
My grandmother if im being honest is a Hypocritical, Fuse-Headed, Short Minded, Self-Apathetic, Hard working old Woman. I love her and i care for her but shes just so infuriating. I often for fun mimic my Sister, Mother and Grandmothers speech to joke around but when my grandma hears me mimic them its okay, but if i mimic her im the bad guy. Worst of all shes mimiced me many times and ive not been offended by it.
So there. What do you think? Mayby it is really me whos the problem and in my autistic mind i just dont understand.
TL:DR: ( Too Long Didint Read)
My Mother takes my Grandmas side in everything even if its obvious shes in the wrong and they both gaslight me into thinking i was in the wrong in our fights and now i dont know what to do.