So I, 23 F and my ex 25 M ended up splitting up over text message 3 months postpartum. He did so while I was at work and the same day I packed up all of mine and my sons belongings and went back to my parents house until I can get on my feet again.
His reasoning was we are damaged and he doesn’t see us getting any better or repairing things anytime soon. He says he just doesn’t have the energy to keep trying and he’s not happy but he still loves me. The back story on this is he’s cheated on me for a long time, he said he was always scared to fully commit and love with his all which always seems like projection on what he’s done to me.
We talk as if we are friends and we’ve had sex a few times but stopped because my feelings get in the way… I’m at a loss on if he will ever come back, I know I shouldn’t want him to but we do have a child together and having our family come together and be healthy and happy is all i have wanted. Just to clarify this is my first serious relationship, I do not want to come together because of our child but because I do love him. It’s almost sickening and sad how much I love him..
I’m at a loss of where he is mentally and would love advice on what the hell is going on. He always tells me if we come back to each other in the future and I don’t know what the future holds but that genuinely gives no answers! The day I left he was already on dating apps and sites. Talking to the women he’s cheated on me with and I’m just so hurt about all this…
Should I count on him never coming back? How can I gain my sense of self worth again when I have my child with me having medical issues dealing with it all alone? Will the weakness I feel ever go away? I always put on a strong face and act okay but I’m on auto pilot and worn thin. I just don’t know what my life has become??
For extra context, our child was not accidental. It was his idea to begin trying and we did so for over a year. He was very excited and happy to find out we were expecting so this is all so very strange.
EDIT: to clarify since I am being crucified in some comments. I did not find out about the cheating until I was 8 months into my pregnancy. What I meant when I said he cheated for a long time was the entire pregnancy he was unfaithful, 8 months of cheating is a long time in my opinion. I did not knowingly have a child with a cheater until it was too late for any choice besides adoption which I was not going to do. I do NOT regret my child only the father.