This is a throwaway because I use my main account’s name in other places. I guess I just didn’t want this question linked to that.
I am a 24 year old guy. I kind of blew off dating because it didn’t interest me in high school, then the pandemic hit so I didn’t try in college. Now, at the current moment, I am still not dating because I moved back in with my parents. I get along with them really well and help take care of stuff around the house for them as they are growing old. While I am with them, I am trying to save up my money to skip directly into a house instead of going to an apartment. I make good money and can easily move out to live on my own right now if I wanted, just in an apartment
The issue is that I want to try dating now. I am stable in my career and I hope to have a house by next spring if the market allows, so now I can start focusing on things beyond that. I just don’t really know where to start. I am worried and anxious because I am not really a looker. I am 210 lbs at the current moment in time because I dropped exercise and eating habits during the pandemic. I am trying to work it down and have even dropped 5 lbs since last fall, but I feel too chubby in my gut and in my cheeks. On my face, I feel worried because I normally look fine, minus this weird mole in the middle of my right cheek. However, I randomly have outbreaks of acne on my face in the middle of nowhere. Doesn’t matter what I try to keep it from happening, they are inevitable.
Beyond that, I don’t know where to look. I did try dating apps in college before the pandemic hit, but every time anyone ever got a match with me they wanted it to be a hookup despite me stating I don’t want that. I don’t know why, but that’s not really what I want in a partner. Don’t get me wrong, I am not adverse to sex but it really isn’t an want to me. I don’t like the idea of just messing around with people that it might not work out with. I more want a person to be emotionally intimate with and to support. I want a best friend to go through life with essentially. I want to be by their side and offer them what I can to make sure they get to live the life they want, and to help them when they are down. And in return, I want someone that I know has my back through thick and thin and can cheer me up when I am down.
So as of recent, I was starting to think the best way to try and find someone is to try to naturally become friends with each other through a hobby or interest. The issue is that, when I go out to do hobbies, it’s usually male dominated in my area. Like Card Games at a local game store or the local gym I go to. My office is all men too, so there is no one there to try and befriend. I recently told my parents about this, and they brushed it off saying I can easily find someone at the bar or just try to find someone in person at like a park, but I see so many posts online that make me think that would just make women unnecessarily scared or uncomfortable and that is the last thing I want to do to someone. Even if I get past that, I am terrified of what they will say when they find out I still live with my parents, by choice no less.
So at this point, I just don’t know where to go. I want to meet someone, but I don’t know how to move forward, so I wanted to ask you people what avenues I should go down moving forward. Or if I am just being a wuss and need to grow a backbone.