i dont get what i do to become such a people repellent, but its starting to seriously weigh on my conscience and destroy my self esteem. when no one approaches me or avoids me i start to question, is it bc im ugly? now i dont even think im that ugly, but the way people treat me really make me feel like i am.
when im at a social event, how come ppl who are complete strangers strike up conversation with each other, but no one ever comes up to me? since im a uni student i often see this happen at every event / class i go to. i love seeing ppls eyes brighten when talking to someone else, but the second i approach them their eyes dull and they become less friendly. it makes me not even want to go out anymore if im constantly going to be comparing myself every second.
once in community college i approached a girl in an attempt to be her friend. it was the worst experience ever it made me not ever want to approach someone ever again. she stopped responding after a while and it reached a point where i was the only one asking questions. in the end her eyes screamed that she wanted to get out of there. i thought maybe she had social anxiety but the next week, i saw her talking fine with another girl.
so am i just that repulsive? ugly? is it bc i look like ur average npc asian? like WHAT, PLS TELL ME WHAT IS THE ISSUE. i am seriously becoming borderline suicidal bc of this.