I’ve been with my gf (32F) for almost 4 years and about a month ago she decided to move to another country and end our relationship with that.
To preface, when I met my gf she was planning to move to another country to live with her family and I thought our time was limited. She ended up staying and we built a life together.
She since has always talked with me about moving there with her but her mother and I never got along, mostly because she thought I stole my gf from her traveling and living the original life she wanted to live before she met with so she could travel in the EU and they could live together.
My gf and I have had hardships and continuous problems in our relationship such as me not getting along with her mother well, lack of intimacy. She has had issues in her past relationships where her abuser bf called her a sex doll and she has told me that on occasion which has felt like a projection. She has told me that she doesn’t have friends because of our relationship and that she feels like she is a small person in our relationship.
I have done continuous therapy and trying to work on this relationship for years now and love her so dearly. I have never thought of a future with anyone else and wanted to marry her.
She proposed to me about 6 month ago and I told her I really feel we need to work on our communication before the proposal and asked if we could make this a promise ring to that commitment to work on things. I want to marry her but wanted to work on some fundamentally challenging communication things in our relationship before that next step. She said yes and that she was “in it for the long haul”.
I then bought a ring for her the next day.
In the last few months since, I have asked her to connect with me and sit down so we can find a therapist to work on things together and she has continually told me she doesn’t have time though I wanted to find someone with her to work with.
Our problems with communication continued and I have seen her grow further and further apart from me.
Might also be good to mention that almost a year about she randomly told me after we signed a 1 year lease that her mother that lives in Europe was offering her to pay for an apartment for her, pay off her debt, pay her to work for her a minimal amount of time and to buy classes to she could learn to teach English. I was dumbfounded and hurt because i thought we were living a life together and she had this grand proposal and then told me that she really wanted to go and that it would be better for our relationship so she could get her finances in order.
I of course wanted to be here with her and could not imagine living without her. She ended up staying because I paid more rent and made things slightly more financially comfortable.
She has been unhappy since with her decision to stay it has seemed and now she is moving to Europe next Tuesday morning May 21st and has quit her job, selling her car, and saying goodbye to everyone.
Her mother is offering the same deal as before and when I went to ask why she is doing this it’s because she wants her own freedom and this is something she has always wanted to do. She has been quite cold to me since she ended up ending things but at times since we split about a month ago she has been kissing and cuddling me. Mind you, we have been separated but living together for over a month now.
Why I am posting this is to see if anyone has some healthy feedback on how I should handle this? Is there any way to resolve this before she leaves? Or do I let go of her her to her new path?
Feeling the most hurt/anxiety I have ever felt in my life right and looking for support.
Thank you.