I (F20) have been in a long distance relationship (live 4 hours apart) with my boyfriend (M21) for 4 months.
I have a hymen condition that makes sex very painful, and he is my first sexual partner. We’ve had sex once but it hurt me a lot and it wasn’t pleasurable for me at all, so we decided to stop trying until I see a gynaecologist about it.
Since the beginning of our relationship I have always been more forward about initiating, but it feels like now I’m the only one who initiates. He isn’t really interested in making out, and about half of the time I initiate something he just wants me to give him head and he doesn’t touch me very much. Everything ends when he’s orgasmed.
I don’t know if we just have different sex drives or if he’s frustrated about not being able to have PIV sex and I feel nervous about bringing it up with him. I feel rejected and a bit hard done by. He has finished every time we’ve done anything together and I haven’t at all.
He’s lovely in every other way and I care about him a lot but this is frustrating me. I have a high sex drive and it takes very little for me to get in the mood. I’ve started ignoring my arousal about half the time to not overwhelm him and its annoying.
He has told me he likes my high sex drive but I feel insecure about initiating now because of how little it’s reciprocated.
I would appreciate some advice on how to talk about this to him.