A woman (43F) and I (45M) have been seeing each other for about 18 months, and things seem to be moving towards us sleeping together.
That sentence alone might indicate how neither of us are particularly sexually forward people, and it’s been a while for both of us: I haven’t had sex in at least the past twelve years, and I get the impression that she last did it almost twenty years ago. Similarly, I believe you could count our combined total of past sexual partners on the fingers of one hand and still be able to hold a cigarette.
So, you might consider us on the more inexpert and inexperienced side of things. With that in mind, there’s one thing she’s mentioned that has me pondering a bit: that she has bought a number of sex toys, and none of them “work” on her.
If we’re to be physically intimate I have no doubt that I’ll be enjoying it because she is an absolute dream and sexy as all get out, so it would make me feel bad if I turned out not to be able to make her feel good. Of course, at least going by popular culture it seems that there’s a relatively frequent issue of women who respond much more strongly to cleverly engineered devices than to bumbling human partners, but there’s much less information out there about the flip side.
So I’m posting here to ask: why might it be that this lady has tried a range of well-regarded adult toys and not gotten any joy from them? This is something I feel able to talk over with her, but it would make me more confident going into that conversation if I’m already familiar with the most likely reasons and what I could do to help make things go well.