Cutting ties with toxic brothers
I (24F) have 2 brothers (47M) and (38M). After my (32M) brother died, all hell broke loose in my family.
It’s been almost 8 years since my (32M) brother died. Since then my (47M) and (38M) brother have caused issues and blane my parents for everything bad in their life. I know a lot of both sides and my parents are not to blame. My brothers are immature and want someone to blame, so they blame my parents for everything bad in their life. However, they’ve blocked my parents and off and in they’ll contact me, wanting a “relationship”. I was always open, but it caused a schism between parents and I. It wasn’t until recently when I talked to both of my brothers that I realized they have no good intentions in their reaching out. They want me to hate my parents as much as they do. However, my parents are amazing and they’re my family. My brothers see their own reality and it’s a lie most of the time. I’ve been vulnerable with(47M) brother recently about my feelings, and he made it crystal clear he doesn’t care about me, he’s using me as a pawn to make my parents mad. However he claims he’s over all the hurt. But whenever he talks to family members, he complains and blames my parents still for everything, kind of proving that he hasn’t dealt with everything.
I wanted a resolution so bad, I missed when we all got along; the good old days. However, I feel unloved and unwanted.
I recently blocked them and (47M)’s wife on everything. This was hard, I’ll grieve the life I wish we could’ve had, but it isn’t realistic.did I make the right decision? (47M) and (38M) are too old to be immature and not healing themselves. I had to protect my peace and my inner family who actually loves me. It just sucks because I’ve tried so hard and been so vulnerable with my feelings with nothing but snarky comments in return. Any advice on coping and success stories would help. Feeling down and like I wasted so much time trying to mend something they didn’t care enough to mend.
I’m drained. And i give up.
TL;DR: toxic brothers can’t take responsibility for their part in family divide, want to blame anyone but themselves. Was vulnerable and got ignored, have to protect my peace but it stinks that it’s come to this. Any advice on how to cope?