I, a 29-year-old guy, met a 22-year-old woman, and at the end of the date, she said she didn’t feel a “connection.” Before the date, we talked for almost two weeks through a dating app and WhatsApp. In her messages, she made it seem like I was the man she had dreamed of, that it was going to work out, that it was definitely going to lead to a relationship. Although I wanted to take things more slowly, she was more certain than I was, even though she agreed that we should take it easy. But her messages indicated a lot of certainty.
With so much certainty from her side, I couldn’t stay doubtful and manage my expectations as I usually do, and I ended up creating high expectations for a relationship that was far from certain from the start, given the short time we had talked and without having met yet.
So, we ended up meeting to watch a movie at the cinema. Inside the cinema, everything was great. She even leaned on my shoulder (almost fell asleep there), we held hands, exchanged a few kisses on the cheek. At the end of the date, I kissed her on the lips. She didn’t stop it from happening, neither the kiss at the end nor everything else. It all felt very natural.
I admire her honesty in telling me that she didn’t feel a connection. I believe that even much older women wouldn’t do that and would completely ignore me afterward.
I don’t blame anyone for what happened, but I would like to get some advice on how to manage expectations and also how to deal with these situations. As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m really starting to give up on dating apps. It seems they aren’t for a guy like me, someone like me who can’t manage expectations when the other side’s are too high. And I feel that in apps, maybe increasing expectations more than one should happens too often.
My problem is that perhaps I can’t meet people without the help of apps, because I’m someone who is very shy initially. I find it very difficult to approach people on the street and just start a conversation. Even in public establishments, such as clothing stores, gas stations, markets, etc., it is really hard,I always keep it to the bare minimum.