My ex broke up with me about 3-4 months ago after 2 years. Her reasoning was my lack of time to commit to the relationship which is fair and I agreed so the breakup was uneventful (i.e. no yelling, just a long chat and a hug at the end). But since we’ve broken up she’s asked my friends and even some family members several times about who I’m dating because she’s convinced herself that I’m seeing someone which I’m not. Even if I wanted to give dating a shot again, I feel awkward bringing a girl around to meet my friends because my ex still hangs out with my friend group and it makes me really uncomfortable.
I don’t mind if she wants to see them but I feel like my friends have been stolen from me because she now gets invited to our regular hangs as if she were still my girlfriend. I wondered whether she may be trying to keep tabs on me or whether she wants to keep hanging out with them because she doesn’t have a solid friend group herself. But I’ve realised that it’s MY friends who do actually invite her out. I’ve been friends with these guys since I was 5 so I don’t understand why they want to keep including her when she only came into the fold when we started dating.
I spoke to my best friend about it and told him all of this – the awkwardness, the discomfort of being forced to spend time with my ex, the worries about dating in future and that I still want us all to hang out but not have her around every time we do. I thought he would understand but he told me that my ex is now “part of the group” and that she is handling this breakup really well and I should figure things out for myself so I can make myself more comfortable when she is around. But I’ve had no break from her since we’ve broken up and I don’t know what to do next to resolve this. I don’t feel “chosen” by my friends which may make me sound bitter but it’s how I feel at the moment. I don’t want to lose my friends and I’d be willing to hear advice about how I can learn ways to cope with her continuing to be around. But I also want to know whether I should move on from these friends?