So a little backstory.. My bf 23M and me 23F have been on and off for 2 years. We dated for 3 months in 2022 but I broke up with him because it was a shit show we both had too much going on and neither of us knew how to be in a healthy relationship. We stayed friends and would have sex occasionally lol. I feel like we both have grown as people individually we have learned from our past mistakes and are completely different people now.
We just got back together last month and honestly everything is perfect. But, there is one problem.. he’s been acting weird. For example, we both work overnights and for a few weeks he would call me literally as soon as he got off work and we would talk all morning until we both fell asleep. But, now he doesn’t text or call at all when he gets off he’ll just call me when he wakes up after work. Which is usually 3pm- whenever.
To paint the picture: Usually, we will talk before he goes into work. Which is around 11 – 11:30PM then he doesn’t text me at all while he’s at work.. literally radio silence. He gets off around 7-8 AM NOTHING. I don’t hear from him until 3-5ish PM.
I don’t like this type of communication. Because it makes me feel anxious when he goes long periods of time without talking to me. It makes me feel like something is wrong. I know this is a flaw and I have been working on it. I don’t want to be a codependent couple so I try to give him time to himself and vice versa.
I did bring this up and told him I understand that he probably doesn’t want to talk when he gets off work and that’s ok but I need him to communicate this like a simple “Good morning im not really in the mood to talk right now but I’ll call you later” is what I want to hear instead of silence. Like, He just randomly stopped talking to me in the mornings I even sent a good morning text one time and he didn’t respond to it untill he woke up that afternoon.
We did talk this out and he agreed that I was right and he apologized. I’ve noticed some changes. For example if I haven’t heard from him in awhile (like 4+HOURS) he’ll send me a text to let me know why.
Which I really have been appreciating and acknowledging I even tell him thank you for communicating that with me.
Howeverrrr, yesterday I had a missed call from him at 11AM (I was sleeping) I called him back at 1pm.
He was at a lake fishing with some friends. We talked for about 30 minutes, mostly him talking to his friends and me listening.
He told me his phone was on 20 percent and that he would call me when he gets home…ok no problem. We hung up and I didn’t hear from him until 3:50AM. I have a missed call from him and a text that says “good morning”. I haven’t responded yet. I am kinda mad at him because I really just don’t understand why he goes silent sometimes. I have asked him if it’s anything I am doing and he tells me no he just has a lot going on during his day (which he does) but does being “busy” cause him to go 14 hours with no communication?
Why is he acting like this? I’m not sure if it’s something I did or if sometimes he just needs alone time. I don’t want to break up with him, this is our only problem I want to fix it just don’t know how. I’m open to any advice/ criticism. He has been super reassuring that nothing is wrong his excuse is that he gets super busy.. but I still don’t understand.
TL;DR! Boyfriend goes silent for hours I don’t know what to do